WOWIE!! Wut a Christmas!!

Happy Boxing Day - wudeber dat meen - tew my Troo Lub Mikey an an an furrends in Canada.......Mommy - in=loo Deb - kuds yew puts Mikey in a box an an an sends him tew me?????

Sew did yew all hab a WUNNERFUL Christmas??? I shur did! It go like dis:

2am
CHEE CHEE CHEE CHEE CHEE! DDB (dat dum bird, Benny da Beaker, Ma's parakeet) habin a nite terrier!! MA! I yells!! Santy Claws bees heer! DDB Askairt ob him! Hurries! I wants tew gibs Santy kissies!! WAKES UP, MA!!

(Ma get out ob bed, goes into the livin room, turns on da lite an sweet talk to DDB an he shut up.)

MA LOOKS!! Santy Claws bin heer! My stokin FULL!!! GIMME GIMME GIMME my stokin, Ma! Um, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez??????

(No, Margo, it is still sleepy time. Come back to bed).

MEEN MA!!! Sew I grumbles and stomps bak tew bed. Ma lay down an an an I stomp on her ches, one paw at a time. STOMP STOMP STOMP. Den I gibs her kissies on her noze (M A R G O ! ! ! go to Sleep!). MEEN MA! Sew, I stomps off her ches an lays by her sholder. An I purrs. Purrrrr PUrrrrrr PURrrrr PURRRrrr PURRRRRRRRRRRR (MARGO!! Go To Sleep!) Meen Ma!

6am
gurgle gurgle gurgle go my tummy. streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch! IT CHRISTMAS!! Sew I gibs Ma kissies on da face, da nose, da eyes (dat ALWAYS wake her up MOL!)!  MORNIN, Ma! Merry Christmas!! I Hungree I wants brekfist! I wants tew opens my purrezzies!!! Um.........NOW!! Purrr PURRRRRR PURRRRR!!

Sew Ma gib me my brekfist an an an I eets 2 bites. I tew eggsited tew eets!! Ma call me onto da coush.....an an an I sees my stokin FULL ob goodies! WOWIE, Ma! Wuts I gots???? Furst ting - MOUSIES!! Frum Mikey!!!! Six ob dem! Reel tiny mousies! I LUBS mousies!! Ma take one out an an an toss it. I kins feels dat inner lion wakin up..............

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!! I pounces on dat mousie - it beder be sayin its purrayers rite now......smak smak smak chomp chomp chomp kik kik kik kik kik!!! Toss! RRRAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!! Pounce I grabs it an an an I YANKS yanks yanks an an an POP! off it tale come! YIPEE! I half kilt it now! Den I runs bak tew Ma.....

Wut else I gots, Ma? Oh....lookies heer........a Bananananana! sniff sniff Sniff SNiff SNIff SNIFF SSSSSSNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF! ooooooooooooooo! cccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiippppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp!
Zip Zoom Zooooooooom Zooooooooooooooooooom onto da chare ontew da coush race round da coush an ontew da floor zip zip zoooooooooooooooooooom intew da bedroom on top ob da bed down da steps an an an bak tew my burnanernanernaner.......SNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF! aaaaaaaaaah! i feels reel gud rite now ma...............

(Ma sez I gots more toys in my stokin.......I reely dunno cares.........) It time fur a nappy!

Later I finds LOTS more toys! Balls, puffs, all kinds a reely fun stuffs! WOWIE I reeely bin sperled!

Den ant Brenda, Unkie Carl, an dar furrend Steve come ober fur lunsh. OH it smell GUD!! I smelt TOOKEY! I Lubs tookey! Sew I sits by Ma's chare an I begs eber sew sweetly.........MEYOW!! An an an I gits a peec ob tookey! Delishis! Den I politely begs frum Ant Brenda, Unkie Carl, an an an Steve. An dey eech gib me a peec ob tookey! I lubs Ant Brenda, Unkie Carl, an an an Steve.

After Lunsh, dey opens dar purrezzies. I climbs on dar lap an an an gets lots ob tenshun frum dem! Lots ob pets an an an skritches! I likes dat furry mush! Den I takes a loooooooooooooooooooooong nap! I eggzawsted!!

Later on I take anudder long nap wid Ma. Den we wakes up an I plays wid my toys.....wut fun! I had a wunnerful Christmas, fur shur! I spreled rotten an an an I enjoy ebry minit ob it!

Lubs,
Margo
pee ess Happy Birfda Jocelyn!!

Merry Christmas Efurryone!

Ma an I wants tew wishies all ob our beloved furrends a furry blessed an Merry Christmas!!! I hopes dat Santa Paws bring yew LOTS ob toys an treets! Mos ob yew bin furry gud - cept mebe one or tew........

Dis Ma an my tradishun fur Christmas:

Ma get out her Bible an magnifyin ting an an an reeds Luke Chapter 2, which bees bout Creator's Son, who was tew bees King. As she was reedin, I start askin sum kweshuns, kuz I dunno reely unnastands sum tings.

Da Bible say dat Creator's Son, who was tew bees king, bin born in a stable! A STABLE???? Creator's Son bin borned in a STABLE??? Dew yew no how yukky a stable bees????? Dat war cows, sheeps, camels, an an an udder animals stays an an an it bees dirty an poopy, slobbery an an an STINKEE!! I meens BIG TIME STINKEE!!

Now I wudda tot dat Creator wudda want His Son tew bin borned in a nice nice 5 star hotel (they didn't have 5 star hotels back then, Margo) - or mebge a manshun wid marble floors kuz Son was tew bees King!!

Wowie - I dunno unnerstands dat! An an an guess wut? Ma sez dey dinno eben hab DIAPERS bak den! Nope!! Sew Mary, his Ma, rap him in RAGS!! RAGS!! Can yew beleebs dat????? I bees gettin a liddl upsets kuz I canno konmpreehen dis ting dat Creator's Son, who wuz tew bees King, went tru!

An an an yew nos wut else?? It bin sush a miracle dat a BIG BIG brite star shine in da sky! Modern science proob dat! WOWIE!! It guide hoomans tew Creator's Son, who wuz tew bees king.

AN AN AN all da angels in Heben bin SEW egsited dat Creator's Son bin borned, dat dey burst tru da sky an sings GLORY HALLELUJAH tew Creator's Son, who suz tew bees king! WOWIE!! Dis bees purrty amazin tew me!

Sew I cuddles up close tew Ma's eyes an nose an clings tew her. An she tell me dat eben dough Christmas bees da day we celebrates Creator's Son who wuz tew bees king's birfday, dat Son's storee dunno ends dar............... an an an dat venshually Creator's Son die a horrybull deth on a cross, which I dunno unnerstans, but Son did dat acuz He LUB hoomans an want tew makes a way fur dem tew be wid Him in heben!!!

Sew dat wut Christmas meen tew me an Ma.

HAPPEE BIRFDAY CREATOR'S SON!!!

Merry Christmas ebryone!

Mush Lubs,
Margo & Ma

Dis an Dat - Margo's Tales (DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!!)

 Guess Wut???? I has Christmas Purrezzies!!! Yep! LOTS ob dem!! One ob Ma's swappin furrends send me a Christmas Stockin wid room fur my pikshur on it an an an it bees FULL ob purrezzies fur me!! WOWIE!!!  An an an Mikey send me a purrezzie an an an Alfie frum England send me a purrezzie........... an an an MEEN MA sez I canno opens dem until Christmas day.........................meen ma!

Tewda bin diffykult. I hab *Mega-Poop* an an an it hoot a lot. I cry cry cry cry cry! I kudno use my litter box..........Ma no mad. in fak, she cuddle me wen I got don. She didno hab no pumkin tew gibs me an an an she felt bad. But I ok now. I sleep mos ob da mornin after dat.

Ma's boo boo gettin beder an I glad bout dat. It dunno smells no more. Da noos still come ebry day. But I glad she gettin beder.

Yesserda ma an I bin playin wid my snake on a wand an an an I bin FERROSHIS!! I smaks it an an an bites it an chases it all ober da bedroom! An I stalks it an tries tew KILTS it, but I didno kilt it........yet (snicker snicker). An an an I do tubmlesalts, tew! Dat make Ma laff. All ob a sudden I dissapeeers under da bed tew play wid my toys in my stash. Ma heer me thumpin round an bein rowdy an she laff.

All ob a sudden I feels sumtin weeeerd on my fut an I PANIKS!!! My eeers go bak an my tale fluff out (DUNNO TUCH MY TALE) an an an I RACE out frum under da bed an I limps. Ma hab a startle look on her face an I dashes out ob da bedroom askairt tew deth!! Ma try tew cach me an she miss sew she grab my tale........DUNNO TUCH MY TALE, MA!!

She luk at me an an an see dat I has a SPIDE"Y TRAP on my fut...........(DUNNO TUCH MY FUT, MA!!) an an an she YANK it off ob me.............an an an I lost bout a gazillion hares from my fut........MEEN SPIDEY TRAP!!! Yew apposta cach SPIDEYS, no ME!!! MEEN SPIDEY TRAP!!

Ma wash my fut wid soup -um ... sowp? WUDEBER an an an I dunno likes dat........Meen Ma tuch my fut :(  :(  :(  Den she let me down an an an I goes an liks my fut till it reeeely kleen. Sheesh. I hopes I neber eber meets anudder Spidey trap!

Udder den dat, not mush else happnin. It cold. We hab white stuffs fur a few days. Den rane rane rane. Now it dry an an an I dunno tinks we agunna has a white Christmas.

Mush Lubs,
Margo

MEEN MA!!!

I bin SOUND SLEEP on Ma's bed dis mornin, dreemin 'bout my Mikey, when all ob a sudden, MEEN MA pik me up an an an I wakes up :( :(  Meen Ma distoob my wunnerful dreem!!! An an an den she put me in da Baffroom!! Imagine dat - yew bin sleepin an an an dreemin an an an den your Ma wake yew up an stik yew in da baffroom.............MEEN MA!! Wut goin on????

Oh - it da weekend noos takin care ob Ma. Sew, I annoy, furry annoy, an an an I decides tew tell dat noos all bout it. MEEEEEEEEEEEYOOOOOOOOOOOW! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY?OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
OOOOWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

I heers dem bot GIGGLIN!!! It NO FUNNY, MEEN MA!!!!  MEEEEEYOWOOOOOOOOO *hic hic*
Now yew dun it Meen Ma!! I gots da hic hics!! MEEN MA an an an MEEN WEEKEND NOOS bust out LAFFIN!!! Now I embarss :( :(

It dinno takes long an Meen Ma let me out ob da baffroom. I agunna agnores Ma fur a LONG time!! Meen Weekend Noos try tew talks sweet tew me an pets me.........FURGIT IT!! I agunna agnores Yew, Tew!!!!

Now I gwumpee. Tanks a lot, Meen Ma..
grumble bumble grumble.

Margo

Wut a nite...........

Las nite bin weeeerd. Ma an I gits tew bed round midnite. Half hour later Ma git up. She hab bad dreem. Sew I gib her kissy kissies.

Den I dunno feels gud an an an I MOOOOO MOOOOOOO MOOOOOOOOOOOOO an an an trows up. Sew I bin in da batroom fur a while.

Affer I feels beder an Ma kleen up, we goes bak tew bed.

Few minits later, Ant Brenda call acuz she hab *acid reflus* an an an want purrayer. Sew Ma an I purray fur her an an an I sings Ant Brenda a Lullyboo. Den we goes bak tew bed.

But I sense dat Ma blood sugar goin bad down down, an an an I bees insistint dat she wake up. Wen she get up she tel me dat I a gud noos. OB KORS I bees a gud noos! Sew Ma take care ob dat an an an we FINALLY goes tew bed at 4am!!!

I lubs my Ma an an an I lubs Ant Brenda. Ebrytin ok now.

Lubs,
Margo

TOOKEY!!

TOOKEY nom nom nom nom nom MASHIES nom nom nom nom PUNKIN PI nom nom nom nom nom nom

DELISHIS!!! Speshilly dat punkin pi!!

Lubs,
Margo hoo hab a full belly :)

Tookey Day!!

 Soon it wills be *Thanksgiving Day*. I lukin ferwerd tew tookey day acuz I LUBS tookey! It Delishis!!! Unkie Carl  have off from werk an an an he wills cook dinner an an an brings ME a plate........mebe I wills shares it wid Ma......snicker snicker...........an an an Ma wills makes a *gingerbread* fur Ant Brenda an Unkie Carl an lets him take it home. MEEN MA beder keeps a peec ob dat fur ME acuz I LUBS gingerbreddie!!

Wen Unkie Carl get home, Ant Brenda wills call Ma an an an we wills hab purrayer an an an dinner tewgedder ober da fone. Dat wills werk. I canno waits fur MY tookey an gingerbreddie!!!! I droolin jus tinkin bout dat........

Tanksgibin a time tew bees tankful fur all da blessins we hab. We hab LOTS ob blessings!! LOTS an an an LOTS ob blessings!

Dis wut I tankful fur:

Ma
Gud, no, wunnerful food like TOOKEY an an an GINGERBREDDIE
A warm house tew libs in
My furry own bed
Ma's bed
Ma's lap
My mos eggsilint noosin skills
My wunnerful, hansum, strong, jeneris husband an an an troo lub, Mikey Howell!!
My In-Loos, Deb an an an Willis
All ob my Catster furrends
All ob my Noo Furrends from Swap-Bot
Ebryone hoo reed my diree

An mos impotintlee, Creator's Son who send Ma tew gits me an provide all my blessings!!!

Sew wut sum ob yore blessings?? Rememememeber, we needs tew has a *attitude of grattitude* al da time! We furry blessed!

Happee Tanksgibin tew ALL ob our furrends!
Mush Lubs,
Margo an Ma

I Sings Ma a Lullyboo

Ma sew tired. She gots sleeeepy eyes. I lubs Ma. Sew, I jumps on her an an an gibs her a few kissies an an an den I decides she need tew has a lullyboo sung tew her tew haaalps her goes tew sleep.

 Sew I gits comfy an I tuch her cheek an an an nose. An Ma luk at me an smile. Den I smaks her on her hed sew she put it on da pillo. Sumtimes I jus gotta bees blunt wid her. Den I tuch her eyes - she hate dat an it make her close her eyes. I tink she got da messij. Den I begins tew sings my lullyboo.

Meowie Meow Meow Meow
Meow Meow Meow Meow
Meowie Meowie Meowie Meowie
Meow, Meow, Meow!

It Time tew sleeeps
an rest all nite
sew tewmorro
wills be allrite

I lubs yew, Ma!

Lubs,
Margo

WUT????? Agin??????

Meen Noos came AGIN tewda :(  I dunno likes dis...............Meen Ma lok me in da baffroom wen Meen Noos agunna hoot her........but Ma dinno yells as mush. I furry releeb. Ma dinno luk wite or sik or nuttin. I glad.

Ma an Meen Noos talk an I sense dat Ma LIKE Meen Noos!?? Dat I dunno unnerstans. But Meen Noos hab 3 dogs an an an a cat an an an she sed dat I purrty.............

Ma sed dat Meen Noos agunna comes EBRY DAY fur a long long time........I dunno unnerstans dat but o well. I got burrrrave an an an smell Meen Noos, an an an she pet me. Maybe she no sew bad affer all??? I still agunna bees cawshus bout her..........

Lubs,
Margo

I REEEELY MAD!!!!

Meen Noos came dis mornin an an an hoot Ma. An Ma lok me out ob da bedrom afore noos hoot her! I furry uipset! Ma cry an an I cudno be wid her!!! I git reely nerbis. I start singin an an an pacin. Why did Ma lok me out???? I wooda made shur dat noos didno HOOT Ma. I wooda smak Meen Noos hands!!

Ma ok now. I agunna kumfurts her now an an an gib her kissies an PURRRRRR! I lubs Ma eben do she lok me out ob da bedroom wen dat Meen Noos hoot her!'

Lubs,
Margo

I bin BIZZEE noosin Ma

Poor Ma.  She bin tru sew mush lately. Tewda she LEEB ME ALONE ALMOS ALL DAY LONG!!!! Meen Ma!!

She no bin feelin gud an hab feber an pane. Sew I bin wachin her reeeel careful. I dunno lets her out ob my site (unless I eetin or takin my affernoon nap). I lays on her ches an PURR PURR PURR PURR an an an I tuch her cheek wid my paw an gibs her kissies.

She hab dis bad bad smell. It make me nerbis. It smell infektid. Ma sed she hab a Berl - um......Boll??  um..... Boy-il (*Boil, Margo, Boil*).

Tewda she go tew da Bad Bad Boy-il Doc Doc (*No, Margo, my regular doctor*) WELL SHE STILL BEES A BAD BAD Doc Doc acuz she HOOOT yew!! SHE HOOT MA!!! She had tew cuts Ma an takes da bad bad boy-il out an an an it HOOT MY MA!!! :(  :(  :(

*She is a very good doctor, Margo.*

NO DOC DOC bees gud iffin dey HOOTS YEW!! I MAD at her. I otta smak her wid my paws!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Enewa. Ma canno go outs. She canno drib. She canno go outs fur dinner or tew da store.  I tink she agunna becomes a NUN. yew no - Nun ob dis an an an Nun ob dat!!! A noos agunna comes ebry day to HOOT HER!!! I MAD!! Dey has tew *remoob dressing an an an re-pack dressing* Ebry Day!! Fur a long, long time! Meen Noos! I bees a guud noss an an an I NEBER EBER hoot nobuddy! Dat noos beder wach out. Iffin I heers Ma cry or yell I agunna smaks dat noos an an an teech her a lessin or too.

But I agunna keeps on bein a GOOD NOOS fur Ma. I wills cuddles wid her an an an purrs sew she git nuff rest. I agunna wach her reeeel close. I lubs my Ma an I furry upset dat sum noos agunna hoot her ebry day.

I HUNGRY Ma - kins I hab my dinner now???

Lubs,
Margo

Benny da Beaker AKA DDB (dat dum bird)

I spose mos ob yew has herd bout dem erthkwakes in Okleehooma. 2 ober da weekend an an an one a liddl wile ago. We feels da bigger ones heer, no da liddle ones. Dar bin tree ob dem ober magnitood 4 dat we feel. Jus a liddl shake, no mush. But peeps who lib on secon floor or houses not on ground lebel feels shake shake.

Fur reezins I dunno unnerstans, DDB kins SENSE dem an an an he git REEEEEELY ASKAIRT!!! he skreem, go tew da furry top ob da kaj, or furry bottom ob da kaj an shake shake shake an an an his eyes gits WILD!! DDB bin reeely askairt!

DUNNO TELLS NO KITT"Y, but I reely feels sorree fur DDB! I dunno likes it wen roks hit da house an an an I gits askairt. But mos ob da time I kins run tew Ma an an an she hol me an comfurt me. DDB dunno likes no hand in his kaj. An he tew askairt tew heer Ma tryin tew kumfurt him. Poor bird. I reely shuds takes him out ob his mizery so he willno gits sew askairt agin.

(snicker snicker)

Lubs,
Margo

Meowie

Ma bin goin out more. I dunno likes dat. She goin tew da BAD BAD FUT DOC DOC an an an she tell me he SHOK her futs tew makes dem feels beder. Yeah, rite. I agunna shoks dat doc doc fur hootin Ma's futs!! RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!! Wach out BAD BAD FUT DOC DOC!!!

Sew I bees bored wen she go out. Reeeeely bored.  Nuttin tew dew but sleeps in my fishie bed on my Hazel Lucy blankee. I dunno eeeeets nuttin. I dunno drinks nuttin. I dunno plays wid no toys. I agnores Benny da Beaker. I dunno cares iffin a skwerl visit our patteo.

BUT NO CAT BEDER GITS NOWHERE NEER MY PATTEO!!! I WILLS BEETS UP ene CAT dat come NEER MY BAK PATTEO!!!

I dunno eben cares iffin dat Jerk Russell Terror bark at me. I agnores her, tew.

An an an I gits GWUMPEEEEEE wen Ma stay out. Meen Ma! Wen she come in da house I agnores her. I sits up in my bed an turns my bak to her. Den I lays down an agnores her more. An an an I POUTS!! I gibs her a tood!

Wut dis???? Ma gibbin me a TREET????

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!!! I LUBS YEW WID ALL MY HART, MA!!!

Lubs,
Margo

I bees SUSH a GUD GURL!!

Yesserda bin a ruff day fur Ma. She in a lot ob pane. An she dunno luks gud an smell kinda sweet. I dunno likes dat smell. She eet dinner, take her shots an pills an goes tew bed.

But all ob a sudden, I dunno likes her smell an an an her breethin no normal. Sumtin rong, so I needs tew wakes her up FAST!

Sew I gits on her ches an STOMP STOMP STOMP an an an MEOW MEOW MEOW!!! I duz it agin. No response. Sew I starts likin her chin an an an battin her eyes an cryin louder an louder. Still nuttin. Sew I liks her eyelids, an an an her eyes fly open an an an she sez *Huh?, What, Margo?* an an an I YOWLS reel loud.

She git up an reelize dar bees a big big problem. He blood sugar TOO LOW an an an it bin hard fer her tew wakes up. She chek her blood shugar an an an sez *Oh, Margo! Thank you!*

She go tew da fridgie an an an drinks orange stuffs an an an bloo stuffs. She luk terriorable. She shakin, swetin, her hart racin- I kins heer dat......but she seem tew bees takin car ob herself. She gits sumtin tew eets.

HEY WAITS  MINIT, MA!! Iffin YEW bees eetin, it time fur ME tew eets, tew!! MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!!!! I sings at da top ob my lungs an an an duz me FEEDS ME NOW I BEES STARVIN dance!

Sumhow Ma manaj tew gits sum can food in my dish. NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!!  I furry happee now, but I keeps my eyes on Ma. She still lukin an an an smellin funnee.


A liddl later she go sits on da coush an an an I jumps up an we kuddles an kuddles. She hold me tite an sez dat I bees SUSH a GUD GURL acuz I wakes her up an lets her no dat her blood sugar too too low an an an dat I sav her life.  She hab wet eyes. Sew I liks dem dry. I meow softlee tew tells her dat she smell beder now an kins goes bak tew sleep. Her hart ok.

Sew we bot goew bak tew sleep. Dat why I a Registered Kitty Nurse. Dat part ob my job - tew lets her no wen tings no rite wid her blood sugar. I purroud tew bees Ma's private dootee registered kitty noos!

Lubs,
Margo

Heer bees sumtin FUN

Ignores da subskripshun part an an an makes shur yew has yore dancin shooz on!

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=oXvJ8UquYoo&vq=large

 

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

Lubs,

Margo & Ma hoo still bees dancin!!

A NOO Toy!!

I gits a noo toy tewda! YIPEE!  It a WOOGIE!! I LIKES WOOGIES!!

My Woogie bees yeller. It hab 2 eyes. It bees long as my tale (DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!) an an an it furry! Iffin I bites it rite, it skweek! Dis beder den ene mousie - eben a POOPL one!

I LUBS MY WOOGIE!! I kins reeely restle wid it. I name it CHEWIE!! Chewie da Woogie!

Ma toss him on da floor an an an I smells him, an liks him, an den he  luk at me wid dem cross eye ob his - DAT IT!! NO WOGGIE AGUNNA DISRESPEK ME!! RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! CHOMP KIK KIK KIK (skweek) CHOMP (skweek) SMAK - an Chewie go across da room an I RACES affer him - YEW KINNO GITS AWAY FROM ME CHEWIE DA WOOGIE!!! YEW MINE!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

But I reely likes him an an an I dunno wants tew kilt him - yet! Sew I grabs him an slinks under da bed an put him in my stash - sew I kins play wid him weneber I wants tew!

An an an I kins makes him skweek in da middle ob da nite an makes Ma jump MOL MOL MOL NEENER NEENER! OH dat FUNNEE!!

Ebry kitty shuds hab a Woogie. An an an iffin my Woogie shud dance - he be doin da BOOGIE WOOGIE ROTFMOL MOL MOL MOL MOL MOL!!

Lubs,
Margo

I BEES A CAT BOOGLER!!!

Yep! I bees a profeshinil Cat Boogler! Yew may asks, wut duz I boogle???

My speshiltee bees Ma's denshurs. Las nite Ma pop her jaw an an an out come her lower denshurs, RITE on top ob me!! An an an I sez WOWIE!! Tankee furry mush, Ma! Now I kins plays wid yore teefs!!

Sew I smaks em round, liks em, chews dem gud, an makes shur I gits dat tartar (wudeber dat bees) offa my teefs! I smak it round da house. Den I stashes it under da kishen table under da step stool. Gud. Ma willno luks dar fur dem!

Sew Ma git up an  dinno reelize she bin missin her lower teefs. She S L O W dis mornin. She go round do her stuffs, talks tew Ant Brenda, an an an wudeber. Den she go tew makes brekfist.

She take a drink ob joos an gits a funnee luk on her face (snicker snicker snicker!). She rub her jaw an an an reelize she missin her denshur...........MOL MOL MOL MOL at dis point I rollin wid laffter!

Sew she luk in da coush, ware she sleep all nite an dinno finds enetin. She luk in da bafroom.......nuttin. I seen her empty da litter box - HEY dat a grate idee fur neks time - an she luk more confoos.

She luk in da bedroom on da bed, under da desk, under da pillow...........she luk in da kishen. All ob a sudden, she luk under da kishen table, an dar, under da step stool........

*MARGO!!!*

NEENER NEENER, MA!! I BOOGLED YORE DENSHURS!! Dey tastes gud, Ma, and dey haaaalps me git rid ob tartar on my teefs. Tankee sew mush fur lettin me takes kar ob my teefs - WID YORE TEEFS!! MOL MOL ROTFMOL MOL MOL

Lubs,
Margo

MKK (Mousie Kiltin Klub)

Hey Kitties!! Wuzzup??? Wutcha bin doin tewda?

It a purrtee fall day heer, but HOT. 85 bees hot fur fall.

I gots tew talks bout sumtin impotant. Mousies, an how tew kilts dem. Sew lissen up!

Dar bees lots ob ways tew kilt a mousie, an an an lots ob reezins tew kilt dem. ANY mousie commitin ANY offens bees deserbin ob bein KILT!! Da degree ob kilt depend on da degree ob offens.

Fur zample......iffin a mousie bees sittin on da floor an NO lukin at yew, it deserb tew bees kilt. It need a BIG smakie on da hed dat make it fly akross da room an hit da wall. Dat wills teech it tew luks at yew! Lak ob respekt no tolerated heer!

Iffin a mousie bees sittin on da floor LUKIN at yew, it deserb tew bees kilt! It need 2 BIG smakies on da hed an a flik from its tale. Dat wills teech it NO tew luks at yew! Lak ob respekt no tolerated heer!!

Ifin a mousie bees sittin on da floor, LUKIN at yew wid its tale curve an whiskers outa wak...........it in DEEP TRUBBLES!! REBELLION NO TOLERATED HEER!! At dis point, yew needs tew croush down, put yore eeeeers bak on yore hed, get a MEEEEN grimis on yore face, fluffs up yore tale an an an on da count ob 3 -  RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR! Yew POUNES on dat dum mousie, bites it in da hed, kiks it wid yore bak feet, SNARLS at it like a CHEETER an toss it away frum yew an an an repeets da process! Den it bees Half Kilt.

If it STILL bees lukin at yew affer all dat, it time tew kilt it ded. Hab NO mercy. GRAB dat mousie by its tale an YANK da tale off it an spits it out ob yore mouf. Tare intew dat mousie an an an pulls all da stuffin out ob it. Dat complete da job, an dat mousie wills neber boder yew agin! Nope!

Sew dat how tew takes care ob kiltin yore mousies.

I agunna starts a Mousie Kiltin Klub. My furst offishil member bees Mazie. She furry gud at kiltin mousies! Conatulashuns, Mazie!

Hoo else wanna bees a MKK member - it beder den da Mickey Mouse Club ROTFMOL MOL MOL!!!

Lubs,
Margo

I bees a furry gud Noos!

I bees a furry gud Noos fur Ma. I bees a *Registered Kitty Nurse*. Yep.

Ma bin habin a ruff go ob it lately an she bin furry unkomffy. Sew I gits intew my Noosin mode. Dat a lot ob werks, but it werth it!

I stays close tew Ma. Wen she in bed an gits up an down, I makes shur dat wen she come bak intew bed, I gits reel close tew her, tuch her face wid my paw, an purrrrrrrrrs! Den I cuddles wid her.

Wen she on da coush, I climbs intew her lap, den ontew her ches an I lays dar, snuggles down, gibs her kissies an an an bonks, an PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRs reel loud! I puts my arms round her nek an an an sleeps wid her. An an an ebry once in a wile I cheks tew makes shur she bees asleeps an I gibs her a tiny kissy :)

An an an iffin her eyes gits wet, I liks dem dry. I dunno likes Ma's eyes tew bees wets.

It werth all dis werk acuz den Ma cuddle an cuddle me an an an speak sweet werds tew me like I bees sush a gud gurl an an an I bees her cuddlebug an stuffs........an an an I reeeeely likes dat!

Ma feelin mush beder now an an an I no dat Creator's Son haaaalps her an an an anser her purrayer. I haaaalps her, tew!

Mush Lubs,
Margo

See Shells..............hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm???

Ma an I gits a pawkij in a male tewda. It frum my furrend Be-Little, her sisfur Baby-G, an dar Mommy! WOWIE!! I LUBS prezzies!!!

HURRIES UP MA AN GITS IT OPEN!!! It fur ME tew, yew no!!

COOKIES!!! More COOKIES!! AN AN AN EBEN MORE COOKIES!!! WOWIE!! Tree bags ob COOKIES!!  Dids I eber tells yew Be-Little an an an Baby G dat I LUBS YEW FUREBER?????

WUT??? MEEN MA!! I kins onlee has ONE kind ob cookie??? I canno hab ALL TREE kinds ob COOKIES??? Yew sew meen, Ma :( :( :(   Iffin I has tew chooz one, I piks.............um, um, um....Shiken Krispies!! No, waits,...........I wants Picnic Crunch! It bees fall an an it a nice time fur a Picnic........

NOM NOM NOM NOM! O dis gud! Tankee Ma! HEY - ware yew puttin dem udder too pawkijes..........dunno hides dem...... (meen ma!)

Sew yew gots sum Posty Kards from Long Beach Island New Jersey an an an dat make yew furry happee, Ma! Now we bot happee!!

Wut dis? I neber seen dis afore. See Shells??? Kin I eets dem? No? Kin I plays wid dem? NO??? Lik Lik Lik Lik........eeeeeeeeeeeeeew, Ma! Dey taste like salty sand :(  blech! Wut meens dis See Shell stuffs, Ma? Why yew like dem? It smell like da oshin? Oh. Dey purrtee? Oh. Dey frum yore fabrit place on eerth? Oh. I unnerstans now.

Sew we bot furry happee wid our purrezzies! An ma lukin at dat reel state maggyzine.............dunno gits no idees, Ma!

Mush Lubs,
Happee Margo & Ma!

UT OH...........agin........................

I bin a bad gurl..........sniff sniff sniff..........I follow Ma an gits under her feets an an an she almos fall an she SKREEEEM at me! She step on me by aksidint an hoot me! Sew I almos bite her ankle. I shudno gits under her feets. I glad she dinno fall, an she sorry she hoot me. I ran under da bed, an Ma put creeem on her nees acuz dey hoot. Ma's eyes got wet. wut a bad day. We bot hoot but bees ok.

UT OH..........OH NOES!!!

Las nite Ma hab trubbles sleepin. She toss an turn an groan. All ob a sudden her jaw go POP an an an out come her lower teef ting! An I sez WOWIE!! I agunna investergates dis teef ting! An I smells it an it smells GUD!! an an an I liks it an it TASTE GUD!! An I chews it - I needs sumtin tew keeps da tartar off my teef - dis werk!

So I decides tew takes it intew my SEEKRIT stash! Ma dunno dat I has a sekrit stash under da bed! I gots tons ob mousies an an an udder toys dar, an sumtime I run under da bed an plays an kilts dem mousies!

Sew I takes in dar an chews on it a wile an plays wid my mousies an an an I tinks NEENER NEENER MA!! Yew wills NEBER find your teef ting! snicker snicker!!

Ma git up in da mornin an she hab a funnee luk on her face an she rub her jaw (snicker snicker snicker). She take da kwilt off da bed, no teef. She take ebrytin off da bed, an NO TEEF!!! She kinda luk confoos! (snicker snicker!)

She sleep on da coush a liddl, tew, sew she go to it an serch an serch and serch fur her teef ting. She mistifyed!! She dunno war her teef ting bees! an an an it bin all I kuds dew not tew yowl in lafter!! MOL MOL!!

Den she go bak intew da bedroom........an an an she struggle an struggle tew gits da mattress off da bed...........ut oh I tinks........an an an I YOWLS - NO NO MA!! Dunno luks dar - PLEEEEZ dunno luks dar!!

Den Ma lift up da boks springy tingy an an an she sez *MARGO!!! I can't believe you stole my dentures!! You silly cat!!!*

An Ma find my STASH!! It no a seekrit no more - WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! An an an den she ruin it an takes all ob my mousies an toys OUT an put dem ware I kins sees dem. MEEN MA!!

She git dis meeeeeen luk on her face an grumble sumtin bout *sterilizing* her teef ting.......

Lubs,
Margo

I Sush a BRAVE Askairty Cat!!

Ma no *with it* dis mornng. Nope. She hab dat *foggy* luk on her face an she reeeely slow. Her brane no in geer. It cool outside, an furry warm inside. Sew she open front door, turn on seelin fan, open bak door, an an an goes bak intew her bedroom tew dews stuffs.

Ma dinno reelize dat da skreen door on da bak door compleeetly open! Sew I sits dar an an an wates. Ma neber leeb dat skreen door open. She dinno comes bak tew close it. Sew, I tinks tew myself, I wills patrol da pateeo an an an makes shur no doggie or kity bin dar!!!

But first I luks tew da rite an an an makes shur dat Hydee, da Jerk Russl Terror no outside. She dunno likes cats an an an she chase dem a bites dem. She no dar.

Sew I steps softlee ontew da pateeo. HEY!! Wut happen tew Ma's garden??? Nuttin dar but ded stuffs! HOO STOLE MA'S GARDEN!! I AGUNNA GITS YEW - hooeber stold it!!!  I smells eech pot furry carefully. I dunno smells nuttin noo.......

Sew den I investigates da GARBIJ CAN!!! WOW wut smells dat hab! REEEL STINKEEEE! I LIKES dat smell! An an an I goes round it tew nabor Donna's pateeo, an an an I gits askairt! I smells a GURLCAT on her pateeo........I dunno no dis gurlcat............UT OH..........I gits a liddl askairt. I dunno wanna fites wid a gurlcat........

All ob a sudden I hears Ma's voice *Margo, come get your cookies!*

COOKIES???? Now??? Sew eeerly in da mornin???

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! I stiks my eeers bak an an an fluffs up my hole bodee an an an runs in SKREEMIN at da top ob my lungs

MA!!!! SABES ME!!! DAR BEES A GURLCAT NEKS DOOR!!!

Hey...........waits a minit.........WARE BEES MY COOKIES??????

Ma klose da skreen door, piks me up an an an sez *Margo, you are such a brave scardy cat!* an an an she laff!

PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! I sew glad tew bees inside agin!

Lubs,
Margo

Flowers fur ME for Ma's Bifrda (snicker snicker)

Yesserda dar bin a nok on da door - an dis ladee standin dar askin fur Ma wid a BEEYOOTEEFUL boo-k ob flowers! Da ladee ask iffin Ma bees Laura-Lynne Garcia, an I tinks, well, ob korse silly! Hoo els wud anser da door!

Ma klose da door an an an sez *LOOK, Margo! Be-Little, Baby-G and their Mommy sent me these gorgeous flowers for my birthday!!*

LEMME ATS DEM, Ma! LEMME SMELLS DEM!

Sniff SNiff SNIfff SNIFFFFF sssssssssssssssNNNNNNNNNNNNNNiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!
Lukee heer, Ma! Be-Little an an an Baby-G sends ME deez flowers fur yore birfda. Dey fur ME!!! SNIF SNIFF SNIFFFF SNIFFFFFF!! OOOOOOOOOOOH Dey smeels SEW GUD!!

For rosies, lots ob daisies, karnashuns, an an an LUKS MA!! POOPL flowers! Dat why I no deez bees fur ME, no YEW!!!

OK Ma, yew kins puts MY flowers on da kishen table now, but yew has tew lets ME smells MY flowers Ebry Day!!!!!

Oh Tankee sew furry mush, Be-Little, Baby-G an an an Mommy fur MY BEYOOOTEEFUL Flowers fur Ma's Birfda!!!

Mush Lubs,
Margo

Ma's Birfda

Meen Ma leeb me alone ALL DAY LONG!!!!! MEEN MA!!!! I reeely upset an an an annoy.

Ma's furrend Lainy hab a birfda day affer Ma, sew ebry yeer dey sellabrates tewgedder. AN LEEB ME ALONE ALL DAY!!! Dis wut she tol me bout her *Wonderful Day!*...............it wuzno wunnerful for me acuz she LEEB ME ALONE ALL DAY!

Lainy take Ma tew Hannibal, Missouri, which bees on da Mississississississippi River. Furst dey eets lunsh at Golden Rod Corral. Ma try dar shiken, an an an it NO DONE!!! It no hot all da way tru, an an an it no cook rite!! Ma bees furry smart bout restrants acuz she wach Food Netwerk all da time an an an she lerns lots of stuffs bout food an an an restrants. She git mad, an hab da watress take it bak tew da hed shef. BAD BAD HED SHEF!! Parshal kuk shiken cuds makes yew REEEELY SIK!!! Sew she try meet loaf, dat mush beder. Den she hab 3 bites of SHOKLIT CAKE!!! Dat a treet. She hab a salad. AN AN AN CANTALOPE!!! My FABRIT froot! Did Ma brings  bak cantalope or meet loaf or salad fur ME???? NO. MEEN MA!! She lef me my fabrit tookey can food an sum dry food. She try to bryb me intew no gettin mad at her. IT DINNO WERKS!!

Den dey walks round Hannibal. Ma luk fur posty kards an an an only found a few. She furry disappoint. Den, wen she tol me dis, I almos panik..........

MA AN LAINY GET ON A BIG BIG BOAT an an an KROOZ down dat riber.......... I terrierfied ob moobin water an an an I yells MA WHY YEW DEW DAT?????? Yew risk yore LIFE!! She sed no no, Margo, it bin a River Boat wid a Kaptin an an an krew an it furry safe. She sed it peecful an an an relaxin. I shur glad I dinno goes wid dem!!!

Affer da bote ride, dey goes tew a LIGHTHOUSE -wudeber dat bees - is dar a DARKHOUSE, tew??? Ma sed it bin waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay up on top ob a kliff, an an an I start tew gits nerbis..............I askairt ob hites..........Ma a liddl askairt, tew..... but she sed at da top ob da kliff yew kuds sees fur MILES up an an an down da riber. Dat Nice I sez.

I tinks bout dat a sekon, an an an I sez MA!!! Yew risk yore life twice an an an yew calls dat FUN an an an RELAXIN?????? I shud hab neber let yew out dat door - iffin I noo wut yew wuz agunna dew.............

But, she an Lainy come home an bot ob dem tired, but safe. I furry releebed. But I let Ma no how mush I DINNO PRESHIATES BEIN LEFT ALONE ALL DAY LONG!!! I agnores her. She sit in da rekliner an I agnores her agin. I agnore her fur a long time.

Den she ask me iffin I wants COOKIES................well, I canno resists cookies, sew I forgab her an an an ebrytin fine now!

Lubs,
Margo

Noo Twist on my Snake Game!!! WOWIE!!

I bin sleepin, an an an Ma wissle an call me. I kyurees, sew I RUNS intew da bedroom. Dar a small box in da middle ob da floor. SEW WUT I tinks.

All ob a sudden, da box make a NOISE! An I tinks - WUT DAT???? Yew no, cats bees kyurees. Sew I luks an an an my SNAKE bees in dat box! An an an it rattle an rattle! DUNNO RATTLES AT ME YEW DUM SNAKE!!!

Sew I stiks my paws an an an face intew da box an GRABS dat snake - an it run away frum me! Sew I chases it agin an it fly intew da air! WUT???

Den I heers it in dat box agin, rattlin at me. Sew I gits rede tew attaks. I flattens my eeers tew my hed, my eyes gits wide as sawsers, my tale go tew fluffometer lebel 2 an an an RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!! Pounce!! I GOT YEW DUM SNAKE!!! Chomp chomp chomp chomk kik kik kik kik  WOWIE! It flew out ob da box agin, sew I turns around and LEEEEP tru da air and POUNCE on dat box an an an I KILT dat snake! Yep. I reeely did. It needed tew bees kilt. Dum snake!

Sew I luks at Ma, shakes myself, holds my tale way up in da air, an an an walks by Ma an an an I sez MROW, Ma - I kilt da snake!

Lubs,
Margo

Being Rowdy hab its conseekwensis.....

I reely lubs my snake!! An an an I plays HARD!! Da udder nite I bin chasin it, an I gots reeeely rowdee!! I leap an tur an du tumblesalts an race round da bedroom an I stalks dat snake an an an (Ma bin surprize) I GROWLS like a feeeerc Cheeter!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!! I AGUNNA KILTS YEW YEW DUM SNAKE!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!

Meen Ma stop playin wid me acuz he tink I bees gettin *carried away* wudeber dat meen!!! Sew she take MY snake AWAY frum me.........MEEN MA!!! She go an sit by da pooter an an an an ..........HACK!! I pukes ALL ober da carpet! Dat upset Ma. She kleen as bes she kud. She dinno gibs me nuttin else for 3 HOURS!! I bin STARVIN, Meen Ma!!

Sew Ant Peggy come da neks day. She get out da MEEN MEEN DIRT EETIN MACHEEEN an an vaccuum da bedroom rug. I DUNNO LIKES DAT TING! Sew I clings tew Ma. Den she spray da rug, puts a powder on it, an skrub skrub skrub. Den she close MY bedroom door!! How MEEN is dat! She tell me she dunno wants my feets tew gits powder on dem. SHEESH!

Affer a wile, she use dat MEEN MEEN DIRT EETIN MACHEEN AGIN!! I get annoy wid her....... DEN she git da steamer an an an steem da rug.

I DUNNO LIKES MY rug in MY bedroom! It dunno smells like me!!!

Well, I fix dat. Bout ten minits affer she leeb, I HACK agin on da KLEEN KLEEN rug MOL MOL ROTFMOL!

um..........Ma no a happee camper.............

Lubs,
Margo

I NO WUT TEW GITS FUR MA FUR HER BIRFDA!!

I gots a brillyint idee fur Ma's birfda purrezzie!! I agunna has Ant Peggy gits her a boo-k ob FLOWERS!! Ma LUB flowers!! An an an $5.22 enuff tew gits sum at Bratcher's Soopermarkit!!

But I duz hab a ulteeeeror mootib.......I LUBS tew smells flowers! Yep! I lubs tew stiks my nose in dem an SNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!! At leest twice! MOL! Sew dem flowers wills make us BOT happee!

I sush a smart kitty!!

Lubs,
Margo

Ma's Birfda

Ma agunna has a birfda soon. Yep. She agunna bees 19 agin (plus 34 snicker snicker mol!). An an an as uzul, I dunno wut tew gits fur Ma. One ob her furrends volunteer tew takes me tew PetSmart or PetCo.....but dat meen a trip in da car an an an I DUNNO likes da car. I sings *opera* wen I in da car.

I wud likes tew gits her sumtin fun, like a pare ob tow soks, but her feets swells an dat willno werks. I tot bout gettin her a sombrerererereo, but yew kinno finds dem heer, an dar not nuff time fur me an Mikey tew goes tew Chiwoowoo, Meksiko agin!

Mebbe Ant Peggy kins tink ob sumtin fur her. I gots a lowance an an an dat $5.22 (I lost a few sents fur bein bad...........DUNNO ASKS!!!) sew dat shud bees nuff tew gits her sumtin. I no she like herbie tee - dat tee widout tee leebs - mebbe we kuds shares sum KATNIP TEE!!!! WOWIE dat wud bees FUN!!

(sigh) It diffykult to figgr out wut tew gits Ma. I kins always gibs her kissies an an an bonks an an an cuddles......we bot like dat, but dis yeer I wants tew dew sumtin beder.

Enebuddy got sujesshuns???

Lubs,
Mago





pee ess Ma's birfda bees 9/9

Hurry-Kane Ireeeeen

Oh my! Oh my! I herd dat Hurry-Kane Ireeeeeen agunna blast da East Coast..........duz yew lib dare???? Iffin yew duz, dis wut I sujest.....

Iffin yew told tew E-Vaccuum-Ate (wudeber dat meen), DEW IT!!! Dunno stays dar war yew bees!

Neber Eber dribe tru water!! Dat furry dangeris!! Six inchies ob water kins moob a car - dat all it take!! TURN AROUND, DON'T DROWN' is wut dey sez.

Makes shur yew has supplies fur a few days..........INKLUDIN LOTS OB CAT (or dog) FOOD!!!! Dunno lets yore furkids goes hungreee!

 Makes shur yew has a transistor radeeeo tew kee updated on condishins iffin yew loose lektricitee. Dunno use candles - dat a BIG NO NO! Flashlites werk reeel gud, an an an mos cats LUB tew chase da lite! Sew yew kins plays wid your kitty wile it stormin! Dat wud be lots ob fun!!!

Stays safe my furrends!! I wills be purrin like krazee an an an Ma bees prayin eben now fur all ob our dear furrends on da East Coast.


Mush Lubs,
Margo & Ma

I has noo titles

I has sum noo titles. Yep. OB kors I bees Margo, Registered Kitty Noos. Dat da most impotent! But I also bees:

 "Ms. Margo" 
" Da Kween ob "MEEN" !
"Master ob da ZOOMIES!"
an an an 
"Da Poopl Okypus Ninja Warrior!" 

Whaddaya all tinks?

Mush Lubs,
Margo, R.K.N., KoM, MoZ, PONW!!

I did a noo ting...........neener neener!!

I no allow on da kishen chares. Speshilly wen dey under da table. But Ma neber sed nuttin bout da kishen chare by da pantree war my food bees hidden........

Sew, yesserda I JUMPS an MAKES it on da kishen chare by da pantree war my food bees hidden! It make me askairt!!! I hi off da floor!! Sew I sits in da middle ob da chare an an an

MEEYOWOOOOOOOOO!!  MEEEEEYOOOOOOOOOOOWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Ma come lukin fur me an she find me on da chare. My eyes bin wide as sawsers, my eers bin flat on my hed..........an an an I terrorfied ob bein sew far off da floor...........  YOWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Meen Ma take one luk at me an an an she sez *Margo, you got UP into that chair, so you can get your little self DOWN!! You aren't supposed to be on the chair anyway!!*  An an an she thump me on my rumpus! Ob All da NERB!!!! Den she walk away.

Sew, I jumps down from da kishen chare an an an ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! intew da bedroom. I luks at ma an sez M E O W ! ! !  Meen Ma!

Lubs,
Margo

I has a fether in my kap!

I got a purrezzie tewda frum my Husband an an an Troo Lub, Mikey! It bin fur my birfda, but da bad bad PostMen in Canada bin on strike sew it come a liddl late mol!

DIS TOY HAB POOPL FETHERS!!!!! Gorjus poopl fethers! I LUBS poopl fethers! It a toy on a wand - da fishie hab poopl tale fethers...........an I kilt dat fishie ded tewda. Yep! Pluk a fether frum its tale an stuk it in my kap.................ROTFMOL............ It no makarooni, it a fether! Dat yankee doodler bin a bit weerd.

I likes tew plays wid my noo poopl tale fether fishie on a wand! I likes tew chases it. But I likes pullin its tale fethers best...............(snicker snicker)  RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!

Lubs,
Margo

Da Skale

Dis mornin Ma git out her talkin skale. She luk at me an sez

*Its your turn to get weighed, Margo*

Sew she press on da skale an an an it sez *HELLO. ITS READY*

Ma pik me up an put me on it. I lays down like a gud gurl. Den da skale sez

*Seven point six pounds*

DID I WIN, MA???? DID I? DID I????

* Yes, Margo, you win. You are the same weight you always have been. Congratulations!*

DUZ I GETS A PURRIZE, MA???  I SEW EGSITED!!!!

Den Ma skoop me up an an an gib me a big kissy an cuddle! OH I likes dat purrize!!

Lubs,
Margo

I startle Ma!! NEENER NEENER!!!

Oh I bin furroshis dis affernoon! After Ant Peggy go home, I eets my dinner.......NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!! OH it delishis an I eets da hole ting!! Den I gets dem *friskies*...........LOOKS OUT WERLD!!!

I race intew da bedroom, sits in da middle ob da floor, an YOWLS at da top ob my lungs. Ma come in an an an figgrrr out dat I wants tew plays wid my snake on da wire. But Ma NO rede fur wut she see an an an heer MOL an NEENER NEENER!!

Ma get da snake an I croush down an gits as tinee as I kins git.......my eeers flat on my hed............my tale curl up an my eyes big as sawsers an an an Ma start draggin dat snake cross da floor an an an  MEEEEYOWROOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SNARL!! GROWL!! (Ma's eyes gits REELY big - she neber seen me dis, um, wild? afore!! neener neener!!) SMAK CHOMP KIK KIK KIK KIK GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROWLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! an Ma canno gits dat snake away frum me!!

I GOTS YEW YEW DUM SNAKE!! RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR an an an I duz 2 tumblesalts in a row an dat snake went flyin an an an I LEEEP tru da are an CHOMP afore it hit da ground! An I beets it up REEEEL GUD!!

Den I runs an hides behind da door an makes myself reeeely tinee agin........but I canno waits.......dat snake bin lukin at me funnee.............an it make me MAD MAD MAD!!! AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! HISSSSSSSSSSSS SPPPPIIIIIIIIITTT! An I LEEPS in da are an flies like a birdie (mush beder den DDB snicker snicker) an I GETS DA SNAKE!! An I rips it an I tares it an I chomps it an I smaks it tree times!!!

It ded now, Ma. I kilt it gud. An I feels GUD!! I STRONG! I BRAVE! I MEEN! I KILT DA SNAKE!! Ma sed sumtin bout me bein a akrobat, wudeber dat bees.........I FEERLISS.......

I Margo. Dunno mess wid me yew dum snake!!

Mush Lubs,
Margo, Valiant Warrior!

I Bees a CLOWN!!!

Wut bees a clown???? Ma sez I bees a clown. She laffin, so I tinks tew bees a clown bees gud. Rite?

I bin feelin kinda fiesty tewda. An I bin runnin round da howse playin wid tings. Ma hab a noo noos tewda - she a yung noos, but furry nice, tew Ma.........she dinno pays no tenshun tew me :( I bin jelis ob Ma.

Sew, I puts my eeers bak flat on my hed..........makes my eyes BIG like sawsers...............fluffometer tale tew level 3 an an an ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Down da hallway intew da bedroom ontew da bed, off da bed an ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Intew da libin room wen I saw him......my POOPL OKYPUS.............on da coush............an he luk at me krosseye........

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!! POUNCE!!! Smak smak smak chomp chomp chomp SMAKS him under da pillo an RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR I jumps on dat pillo an skwishies him all flat an an an SMAKS him frum unde da pillo an an an beets him up an  an an den all ob a sudden

CHEE CHEE CHEE CHEE CHEE CHEE CHEE CHEE dat dum bird Benny bin flappin his wings an skwawkin away........I has a CHEERLEEDER fur beetin up my poopl okypus!!! He sayin GOES MARGO, GOES!! BEETS UP DAT POOPL OKYPUS!!

An an an I gits eben more frisky an an an I ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMS round da house agin. Ma an dat noo noos bin laffin an laffin......an den Ma sez

"Margo - you are SUCH a CLOWN!!"

I tink dat a gud ting. An an an I preshiate DDB support!!

Lubs,
Margo, R.K.N., The Clown

I NO a GARDKAT!! I a NOOS!!!

I hab a bizee day, an an I goes tew bed an sleeps jus like a cat shud. I dinno sees nuttin. I dinno heers nuttin. I bin asleep. ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Ma come intew da bedroom in da middle ob da nite. She turn on da lite an an an I sez Murrrrrrrrrrr! An MEEN MA sez

*Where were you when I needed you, Margo!!!*

Murrrrrrrrrr I sez.

Den Ma call Ant Brenda. OH!! ANT BRENDA!! Kins I sez Hi tew Ant Brenda, Ma??? An I notice Ma bin shakin an her voice no stedy.............

MEYOW Ant Brenda!! I LUBS YEW ANT BRENDA purrrrrrrrrrrr purrrrrrrrrrr -

*Margo, where were you when your Ma needed you? You weren't doing your job!!*

Wut job, Ant Brenda?? I bin sleepin. Dat my job!

And den I heer Ma tellin Ant Brenda dat sumbuddy open da skreen door an nok on da front door at 2am an an an Ma got askairt an call *911*. She bin sleepin on da coush wen she herd dat noize. An an an da poleec come, an one come in da hows an talk tew her. Like I sez. I bin asleep. I dinno heer nuttin. I dinno see nuttin. I dinno eben no dat a poleec officer come in da hows. News tew me. Sew I sez tew Ma

Sew did he arrest yew? Yew no - like *Bukkum, Dummo!*

*Margo!! No he did NOT arrest me. What kind of a guard cat are you , anyway?!*

I NO A GUARD CAT, MA!! Yew needs a GUARD D O G! I No A GARD CAT, silly!! I bees a NOOS CAT!! Duno gits no gard dog or I bees furry jelis......

An an an HEY!! Wut bot ob yew doin up an talkin at 3am????? Yew BOT needs tew STOPS TALKIN NOW an an an GITS YORESELFS INTEW BED!! DAT BEES A ORDER!!!

I stares at Ma meen as I kud. She an Ant Brenda pray, den ma sez *ok, time for bed*. Sew now I wills do my job, Ma! I wills kumfurt yew. Settles down an I wills cuddle up tew yew an an an purrs yew tew sleeps. I lubs yew Ma - an I glad yew no bin arrested!

Lubs,
Margo

I Kyoot!!!

Poor Ma bin sik yesserda wid sum virus. She stay in bed, sew I stays in bed wid her. She bin sew sik dat she FURGIT tew gibs me my late nite snak!!! I TRY tew tells her I bin hungree............but she jus agnor me.

Sew dis mornin, I TOL HER FURRY LOUDLEE dat I BEES HUNGREE, MA!! FEEDS ME!!!

Sew she gib me extra porshun ob my fabrit - tookey patay. NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM - OH dat delishis! Tankee furry mush, Ma.........now wut trubbles kins I gits intew.......

Ant Peggy come tew kleens da house. She sez *Hi Margo!* an an an I goes ZOOOOM intew da bedroom, an yowls at da top ob my lungs. Ant Peggy an Ma laffin.......

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!! I comes bak in da libin room an YOWLS eben louder. Ant Peggy tink dat eben funnier!!! ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM I goes bak intew da bedroom on top ob da bed.

Sew Ant Peggy come in dar, an she tink I wants under da cubbers acuz I ate my brekfist. Sew she lift up da cubbers, an I dash under dar, an DASH OUT DA UDDER END!!! NEENER NEENER!! (Ant Peggy neber seen me like dis afor......) She laffin sew hard!

Ma tell her tew git my snake dancer toy - a kroshay snake on a wire dat I LUBS! (I hab neber play wid Ant Peggy afore - I shy .......)

Sew Ant Peggy git dat snake, an I gits a reeeeel meen luk on my face (Ant Peggy laffin sew hard I tink she agunna falls down on her derry air!). She slink dat snake around an an an I CACH IT an I BEETS it up, an she yank it away frum me.........sew I starts slinkin....an an an dat snake start goin down da hallway.........DUM SNAKE!! I AGUNNA GITS YEW!!!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR POUNCE CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP kik kik kik kik RRAAAAA - war did it goes??? IT RUNNIN AWAYS FRUM ME!! IT ASKAIRT OB ME!! I MEEN!

An I runs an bats it an pounces on it an beets it up an den ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM bak intew da bedroom an yowl at da top ob my lungs on top ob da bed...........Ant Peggy come in agin - I canno beleeb I dun dis TWICE TEW HER MOL ROTFMOL- lift up da cubbers, I zooms in one end an OUT DA UDDER END AGIN!! (Ant Peggy hab wet eyes now she laffin sew hard).

Den ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM intew da litter box.......skyooz me......

Wen I comes out, Ant Peggy pik me up an cuddle me an an an tell me *Margo, you are SO CUTE!*

An I tells her, well, ob KORSE I KYOOT! I MARGO!!

Lubs,
Margo

Stinkeeeeeee

Hiya, Ma - sniff sniff sneeze sneeze sneeze sneeze sneeze GAG sneeze sneeze PHEW, MA!! Wut yew warin???? It STINKEEE, but no gud stinkee..........BAD STINKEEEEEE! PHEW!!

*I'm wearing Avon's Imari*

Yew no marry, Ma! Why yew warin dat - yew lyin, Ma - yew no marry........ GAG sneeze sneeze sneeze sneeze!

Why yew warin dat? Get it offs yew! I dunno like dat smell! I likes YORE smell speshilly wen yew bees STINKEE nashural!!! Sheesh, Ma!

*I like the way it smells, Margo, and when I wear it I feel pampered!*

Yew no needs no diaper, Ma. Go an an an takes a shower!!

An guess wut else..........it NO FARE dat YEW wares a purrfoooom but I dunno. I WANTS SUM PURRFOOM NOW, MA!!! I wants tew bees like yew!!!

*And what kind of perfume would you like........(I may regret asking this.........) Margo.

Owe du Stunk, Ma!! Dat it!! Owe du Stunk!!! Furry STINKEEE! It wills make yore eyes wet acuz it smell sew gud!!Yew kins gits it on eBay, Ma!!! Yew gots PayPal!!

*Margo I will NOT get you eau de skunk!! That is GROSS!!!*

MEEN MA!! It NO FARE dat yew kins wares ikee purrrfoooom but I canno wares STINKEE owe du stunk purrrrfooooom!

*Come here, Margo. I am more than willing to share my Imari with you -*

YIKES!! RUN FUR YORE LIFE!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!! KWIK - I wills hide under da bed!! NEENER NEENER, MEEN MA!! Yew canno sprays me!!

AN DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!!!

Lubs,
Margo

My Tale an an an Udder Vital Statiktiks

WUT TIKS, Ma -  I DUNNO GOTS  NO TIKS!!!!

I lubs my tale. Yep! It purrrfik. It got lots ob colors like blak, orinj, an an an wite! I gots a wite tip on my tale like I dunk it in paint!!! An an an I gots 2 kinks in my tale wich make it eben MORE purrrrfik!! Two ob dem tale bones bins broke an dinno heels rite, so my tale bees kinks. WOWIE wut a tale I gots! BUT DUNO TUCH IT or I wills SMAKS yore hand HARD! IT MY TALE an an an yew CANNO TUCH IT!!!

Hey Ma!! How long bees my BEEYOOTIFUL tale??

*Let me measure it, Margo.*

DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!!!!! rrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! I bees warnin yew, Ma……..DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!!!

*How do you expect me to measure it then -*

Yew no, Ma – like dey meshur hoosies! One hand eekwil 4 cinches!! BUT DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!!! Meshur it dat way……..BUT DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!!!!!

*Ma gets the tape measure ready*

*MARGO! Stay still or I won’t be able to measure your beautiful, I mean BEEYOOTEEFUL tail!*

DUNNO –

*I will NOT touch your tail, Margo!*

I redy tew BITES yew…………..

*Ma attempts to measure ‘The Tail’…..RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  CHOMP *YOUCH MARGO LET GO!!* RRRRRRRRRRRRR *TAKE YOUR TEETH OFF OF MY WRIST!!!!* smack smack smack Ma’s rist!!! ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! M E E N  MA!!!!!!

Sew Ma, how long bees my tale????

*11 inches, Mean Margo!!*

I NO MEEN!!! DUNNO CALLS ME MEEN!! YEW HOOT MY FEELINS…..snif snif snif snif

*Did I hurt you when I touched your tail?*

Snif snif snif……….no…………..snif snif snif But I WARN yew!!! Yew deserb a bite!

Hey MA!! How long bees my bak? I pawromis I willno smak or bite yew…..

*Stay Still Margo!!!* I’ll do your entire body, ok, but you Can Not Bite Me!!!*

Pffft! *MARGO!* Bees kwik, Ma!! Hurries up! *STAY STILL, MARGO*

I dunno wants tew NEENER NEENER!!! *sigh……….*

After a wrestling battle, some smacks from Margo, a firm NO from Ma, the dastardly deed was completed. Both parties have messed up hair and fur has flown all over the bed.

*CALL A TRUCE, Margo!!!* pffffffffft!  *M A R G O ! ! !  ok ME - I meens Ma. Trooooos.

*For all of you that are interested, here are Margo’s Vital Statistics:*

Species – feline (cat)

Color – tortoiseshell and white
Sex – MAAAAAAAAA!!! DUNNO SEZ DAT WERD!! YEW EMBARSS ME!!

            *Margo, are you a boy or a girl?*  I BEES A GURL, MA!!!!

            *Then that is your sex, Margo*  pout pout sheeesh!

Eyes – green

Height – 9”

Weight – 7.8 pounds  I SVELTE, Ma!!
Length of tail – 11”

Length of back – 12”

Neck – 10”

From tip of nose to tip of tail (DUNNO TUCH MY TALE, MA!) – 32”

Tankee furry mush, Ma!

Lubs,

BEEYOOTEEFUL Margo hoo bees furry purroud ob her BEEYOOTEEFUL TALE!!

DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!!!!

Introduction

Hello dar, Furrends! It me, MARGO, R.K.N. !! Ma an I decide tew make a *BLOG* - wudeber dat bees for ME!! Sew I kins rite an an an all my furrends kins reed it! Al also so we dunno gits in trubbles fur sendin tew mene emails..........

I bees a BEEYOOTEFUL 3 legged kitty wid a BEEYOOOTEEFUL tale, a lot ob Spunk - wudeber dat bees - an a wunnerful life! I bees 7 yeers old. Heer bees sum ob my fabrit tings:

My POOPL Okypus dat I beets up ebry day
My Wunnerful, sweet, an FURRY HANSUM Husband, Mikey
Canteloupe an Watermelon
Skrambl egg
liddl mousies da smaller da beder
TOOKEY
Shiken
Cat Dancer Snake Toy
Ma
PIZZA - yep jus like Garfield

Ma wills haaalps me werk on dis BLOG ting. We hopes yew enjoys gettin tew no me.

Lubs,
Margo