Thursday, September 29, 2011

See Shells..............hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm???

Ma an I gits a pawkij in a male tewda. It frum my furrend Be-Little, her sisfur Baby-G, an dar Mommy! WOWIE!! I LUBS prezzies!!!

HURRIES UP MA AN GITS IT OPEN!!! It fur ME tew, yew no!!

COOKIES!!! More COOKIES!! AN AN AN EBEN MORE COOKIES!!! WOWIE!! Tree bags ob COOKIES!!  Dids I eber tells yew Be-Little an an an Baby G dat I LUBS YEW FUREBER?????

WUT??? MEEN MA!! I kins onlee has ONE kind ob cookie??? I canno hab ALL TREE kinds ob COOKIES??? Yew sew meen, Ma :( :( :(   Iffin I has tew chooz one, I, um, um....Shiken Krispies!! No, waits,...........I wants Picnic Crunch! It bees fall an an it a nice time fur a Picnic........

NOM NOM NOM NOM! O dis gud! Tankee Ma! HEY - ware yew puttin dem udder too pawkijes..........dunno hides dem...... (meen ma!)

Sew yew gots sum Posty Kards from Long Beach Island New Jersey an an an dat make yew furry happee, Ma! Now we bot happee!!

Wut dis? I neber seen dis afore. See Shells??? Kin I eets dem? No? Kin I plays wid dem? NO??? Lik Lik Lik Lik........eeeeeeeeeeeeeew, Ma! Dey taste like salty sand :(  blech! Wut meens dis See Shell stuffs, Ma? Why yew like dem? It smell like da oshin? Oh. Dey purrtee? Oh. Dey frum yore fabrit place on eerth? Oh. I unnerstans now.

Sew we bot furry happee wid our purrezzies! An ma lukin at dat reel state maggyzine.............dunno gits no idees, Ma!

Mush Lubs,
Happee Margo & Ma!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

UT OH...........agin........................

I bin a bad gurl..........sniff sniff sniff..........I follow Ma an gits under her feets an an an she almos fall an she SKREEEEM at me! She step on me by aksidint an hoot me! Sew I almos bite her ankle. I shudno gits under her feets. I glad she dinno fall, an she sorry she hoot me. I ran under da bed, an Ma put creeem on her nees acuz dey hoot. Ma's eyes got wet. wut a bad day. We bot hoot but bees ok.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

UT OH..........OH NOES!!!

Las nite Ma hab trubbles sleepin. She toss an turn an groan. All ob a sudden her jaw go POP an an an out come her lower teef ting! An I sez WOWIE!! I agunna investergates dis teef ting! An I smells it an it smells GUD!! an an an I liks it an it TASTE GUD!! An I chews it - I needs sumtin tew keeps da tartar off my teef - dis werk!

So I decides tew takes it intew my SEEKRIT stash! Ma dunno dat I has a sekrit stash under da bed! I gots tons ob mousies an an an udder toys dar, an sumtime I run under da bed an plays an kilts dem mousies!

Sew I takes in dar an chews on it a wile an plays wid my mousies an an an I tinks NEENER NEENER MA!! Yew wills NEBER find your teef ting! snicker snicker!!

Ma git up in da mornin an she hab a funnee luk on her face an she rub her jaw (snicker snicker snicker). She take da kwilt off da bed, no teef. She take ebrytin off da bed, an NO TEEF!!! She kinda luk confoos! (snicker snicker!)

She sleep on da coush a liddl, tew, sew she go to it an serch an serch and serch fur her teef ting. She mistifyed!! She dunno war her teef ting bees! an an an it bin all I kuds dew not tew yowl in lafter!! MOL MOL!!

Den she go bak intew da an an she struggle an struggle tew gits da mattress off da bed...........ut oh I an an I YOWLS - NO NO MA!! Dunno luks dar - PLEEEEZ dunno luks dar!!

Den Ma lift up da boks springy tingy an an an she sez *MARGO!!! I can't believe you stole my dentures!! You silly cat!!!*

An Ma find my STASH!! It no a seekrit no more - WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! An an an den she ruin it an takes all ob my mousies an toys OUT an put dem ware I kins sees dem. MEEN MA!!

She git dis meeeeeen luk on her face an grumble sumtin bout *sterilizing* her teef ting.......


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I Sush a BRAVE Askairty Cat!!

Ma no *with it* dis mornng. Nope. She hab dat *foggy* luk on her face an she reeeely slow. Her brane no in geer. It cool outside, an furry warm inside. Sew she open front door, turn on seelin fan, open bak door, an an an goes bak intew her bedroom tew dews stuffs.

Ma dinno reelize dat da skreen door on da bak door compleeetly open! Sew I sits dar an an an wates. Ma neber leeb dat skreen door open. She dinno comes bak tew close it. Sew, I tinks tew myself, I wills patrol da pateeo an an an makes shur no doggie or kity bin dar!!!

But first I luks tew da rite an an an makes shur dat Hydee, da Jerk Russl Terror no outside. She dunno likes cats an an an she chase dem a bites dem. She no dar.

Sew I steps softlee ontew da pateeo. HEY!! Wut happen tew Ma's garden??? Nuttin dar but ded stuffs! HOO STOLE MA'S GARDEN!! I AGUNNA GITS YEW - hooeber stold it!!!  I smells eech pot furry carefully. I dunno smells nuttin noo.......

Sew den I investigates da GARBIJ CAN!!! WOW wut smells dat hab! REEEL STINKEEEE! I LIKES dat smell! An an an I goes round it tew nabor Donna's pateeo, an an an I gits askairt! I smells a GURLCAT on her pateeo........I dunno no dis gurlcat............UT OH..........I gits a liddl askairt. I dunno wanna fites wid a gurlcat........

All ob a sudden I hears Ma's voice *Margo, come get your cookies!*

COOKIES???? Now??? Sew eeerly in da mornin???

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! I stiks my eeers bak an an an fluffs up my hole bodee an an an runs in SKREEMIN at da top ob my lungs


Hey...........waits a minit.........WARE BEES MY COOKIES??????

Ma klose da skreen door, piks me up an an an sez *Margo, you are such a brave scardy cat!* an an an she laff!

PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! I sew glad tew bees inside agin!


Saturday, September 10, 2011

Flowers fur ME for Ma's Bifrda (snicker snicker)

Yesserda dar bin a nok on da door - an dis ladee standin dar askin fur Ma wid a BEEYOOTEEFUL boo-k ob flowers! Da ladee ask iffin Ma bees Laura-Lynne Garcia, an I tinks, well, ob korse silly! Hoo els wud anser da door!

Ma klose da door an an an sez *LOOK, Margo! Be-Little, Baby-G and their Mommy sent me these gorgeous flowers for my birthday!!*


Sniff SNiff SNIfff SNIFFFFF sssssssssssssssNNNNNNNNNNNNNNiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!
Lukee heer, Ma! Be-Little an an an Baby-G sends ME deez flowers fur yore birfda. Dey fur ME!!! SNIF SNIFF SNIFFFF SNIFFFFFF!! OOOOOOOOOOOH Dey smeels SEW GUD!!

For rosies, lots ob daisies, karnashuns, an an an LUKS MA!! POOPL flowers! Dat why I no deez bees fur ME, no YEW!!!

OK Ma, yew kins puts MY flowers on da kishen table now, but yew has tew lets ME smells MY flowers Ebry Day!!!!!

Oh Tankee sew furry mush, Be-Little, Baby-G an an an Mommy fur MY BEYOOOTEEFUL Flowers fur Ma's Birfda!!!

Mush Lubs,

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Ma's Birfda

Meen Ma leeb me alone ALL DAY LONG!!!!! MEEN MA!!!! I reeely upset an an an annoy.

Ma's furrend Lainy hab a birfda day affer Ma, sew ebry yeer dey sellabrates tewgedder. AN LEEB ME ALONE ALL DAY!!! Dis wut she tol me bout her *Wonderful Day!* wuzno wunnerful for me acuz she LEEB ME ALONE ALL DAY!

Lainy take Ma tew Hannibal, Missouri, which bees on da Mississississississippi River. Furst dey eets lunsh at Golden Rod Corral. Ma try dar shiken, an an an it NO DONE!!! It no hot all da way tru, an an an it no cook rite!! Ma bees furry smart bout restrants acuz she wach Food Netwerk all da time an an an she lerns lots of stuffs bout food an an an restrants. She git mad, an hab da watress take it bak tew da hed shef. BAD BAD HED SHEF!! Parshal kuk shiken cuds makes yew REEEELY SIK!!! Sew she try meet loaf, dat mush beder. Den she hab 3 bites of SHOKLIT CAKE!!! Dat a treet. She hab a salad. AN AN AN CANTALOPE!!! My FABRIT froot! Did Ma brings  bak cantalope or meet loaf or salad fur ME???? NO. MEEN MA!! She lef me my fabrit tookey can food an sum dry food. She try to bryb me intew no gettin mad at her. IT DINNO WERKS!!

Den dey walks round Hannibal. Ma luk fur posty kards an an an only found a few. She furry disappoint. Den, wen she tol me dis, I almos panik..........

MA AN LAINY GET ON A BIG BIG BOAT an an an KROOZ down dat riber.......... I terrierfied ob moobin water an an an I yells MA WHY YEW DEW DAT?????? Yew risk yore LIFE!! She sed no no, Margo, it bin a River Boat wid a Kaptin an an an krew an it furry safe. She sed it peecful an an an relaxin. I shur glad I dinno goes wid dem!!!

Affer da bote ride, dey goes tew a LIGHTHOUSE -wudeber dat bees - is dar a DARKHOUSE, tew??? Ma sed it bin waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay up on top ob a kliff, an an an I start tew gits nerbis..............I askairt ob hites..........Ma a liddl askairt, tew..... but she sed at da top ob da kliff yew kuds sees fur MILES up an an an down da riber. Dat Nice I sez.

I tinks bout dat a sekon, an an an I sez MA!!! Yew risk yore life twice an an an yew calls dat FUN an an an RELAXIN?????? I shud hab neber let yew out dat door - iffin I noo wut yew wuz agunna dew.............

But, she an Lainy come home an bot ob dem tired, but safe. I furry releebed. But I let Ma no how mush I DINNO PRESHIATES BEIN LEFT ALONE ALL DAY LONG!!! I agnores her. She sit in da rekliner an I agnores her agin. I agnore her fur a long time.

Den she ask me iffin I wants COOKIES................well, I canno resists cookies, sew I forgab her an an an ebrytin fine now!


Sunday, September 4, 2011

Noo Twist on my Snake Game!!! WOWIE!!

I bin sleepin, an an an Ma wissle an call me. I kyurees, sew I RUNS intew da bedroom. Dar a small box in da middle ob da floor. SEW WUT I tinks.

All ob a sudden, da box make a NOISE! An I tinks - WUT DAT???? Yew no, cats bees kyurees. Sew I luks an an an my SNAKE bees in dat box! An an an it rattle an rattle! DUNNO RATTLES AT ME YEW DUM SNAKE!!!

Sew I stiks my paws an an an face intew da box an GRABS dat snake - an it run away frum me! Sew I chases it agin an it fly intew da air! WUT???

Den I heers it in dat box agin, rattlin at me. Sew I gits rede tew attaks. I flattens my eeers tew my hed, my eyes gits wide as sawsers, my tale go tew fluffometer lebel 2 an an an RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!! Pounce!! I GOT YEW DUM SNAKE!!! Chomp chomp chomp chomk kik kik kik kik  WOWIE! It flew out ob da box agin, sew I turns around and LEEEEP tru da air and POUNCE on dat box an an an I KILT dat snake! Yep. I reeely did. It needed tew bees kilt. Dum snake!

Sew I luks at Ma, shakes myself, holds my tale way up in da air, an an an walks by Ma an an an I sez MROW, Ma - I kilt da snake!


Saturday, September 3, 2011

Being Rowdy hab its conseekwensis.....

I reely lubs my snake!! An an an I plays HARD!! Da udder nite I bin chasin it, an I gots reeeely rowdee!! I leap an tur an du tumblesalts an race round da bedroom an I stalks dat snake an an an (Ma bin surprize) I GROWLS like a feeeerc Cheeter!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!! I AGUNNA KILTS YEW YEW DUM SNAKE!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!

Meen Ma stop playin wid me acuz he tink I bees gettin *carried away* wudeber dat meen!!! Sew she take MY snake AWAY frum me.........MEEN MA!!! She go an sit by da pooter an an an an ..........HACK!! I pukes ALL ober da carpet! Dat upset Ma. She kleen as bes she kud. She dinno gibs me nuttin else for 3 HOURS!! I bin STARVIN, Meen Ma!!

Sew Ant Peggy come da neks day. She get out da MEEN MEEN DIRT EETIN MACHEEEN an an vaccuum da bedroom rug. I DUNNO LIKES DAT TING! Sew I clings tew Ma. Den she spray da rug, puts a powder on it, an skrub skrub skrub. Den she close MY bedroom door!! How MEEN is dat! She tell me she dunno wants my feets tew gits powder on dem. SHEESH!

Affer a wile, she use dat MEEN MEEN DIRT EETIN MACHEEN AGIN!! I get annoy wid her....... DEN she git da steamer an an an steem da rug.

I DUNNO LIKES MY rug in MY bedroom! It dunno smells like me!!!

Well, I fix dat. Bout ten minits affer she leeb, I HACK agin on da KLEEN KLEEN rug MOL MOL ROTFMOL!

um..........Ma no a happee camper.............