Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I bees SUSH a GUD GURL!!

Yesserda bin a ruff day fur Ma. She in a lot ob pane. An she dunno luks gud an smell kinda sweet. I dunno likes dat smell. She eet dinner, take her shots an pills an goes tew bed.

But all ob a sudden, I dunno likes her smell an an an her breethin no normal. Sumtin rong, so I needs tew wakes her up FAST!

Sew I gits on her ches an STOMP STOMP STOMP an an an MEOW MEOW MEOW!!! I duz it agin. No response. Sew I starts likin her chin an an an battin her eyes an cryin louder an louder. Still nuttin. Sew I liks her eyelids, an an an her eyes fly open an an an she sez *Huh?, What, Margo?* an an an I YOWLS reel loud.

She git up an reelize dar bees a big big problem. He blood sugar TOO LOW an an an it bin hard fer her tew wakes up. She chek her blood shugar an an an sez *Oh, Margo! Thank you!*

She go tew da fridgie an an an drinks orange stuffs an an an bloo stuffs. She luk terriorable. She shakin, swetin, her hart racin- I kins heer dat......but she seem tew bees takin car ob herself. She gits sumtin tew eets.

HEY WAITS  MINIT, MA!! Iffin YEW bees eetin, it time fur ME tew eets, tew!! MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!!!! I sings at da top ob my lungs an an an duz me FEEDS ME NOW I BEES STARVIN dance!

Sumhow Ma manaj tew gits sum can food in my dish. NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!!  I furry happee now, but I keeps my eyes on Ma. She still lukin an an an smellin funnee.

A liddl later she go sits on da coush an an an I jumps up an we kuddles an kuddles. She hold me tite an sez dat I bees SUSH a GUD GURL acuz I wakes her up an lets her no dat her blood sugar too too low an an an dat I sav her life.  She hab wet eyes. Sew I liks dem dry. I meow softlee tew tells her dat she smell beder now an kins goes bak tew sleep. Her hart ok.

Sew we bot goew bak tew sleep. Dat why I a Registered Kitty Nurse. Dat part ob my job - tew lets her no wen tings no rite wid her blood sugar. I purroud tew bees Ma's private dootee registered kitty noos!


Sunday, October 23, 2011

Heer bees sumtin FUN

Ignores da subskripshun part an an an makes shur yew has yore dancin shooz on!

Margo & Ma hoo still bees dancin!!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

A NOO Toy!!

I gits a noo toy tewda! YIPEE!  It a WOOGIE!! I LIKES WOOGIES!!

My Woogie bees yeller. It hab 2 eyes. It bees long as my tale (DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!) an an an it furry! Iffin I bites it rite, it skweek! Dis beder den ene mousie - eben a POOPL one!

I LUBS MY WOOGIE!! I kins reeely restle wid it. I name it CHEWIE!! Chewie da Woogie!

Ma toss him on da floor an an an I smells him, an liks him, an den he  luk at me wid dem cross eye ob his - DAT IT!! NO WOGGIE AGUNNA DISRESPEK ME!! RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! CHOMP KIK KIK KIK (skweek) CHOMP (skweek) SMAK - an Chewie go across da room an I RACES affer him - YEW KINNO GITS AWAY FROM ME CHEWIE DA WOOGIE!!! YEW MINE!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

But I reely likes him an an an I dunno wants tew kilt him - yet! Sew I grabs him an slinks under da bed an put him in my stash - sew I kins play wid him weneber I wants tew!

An an an I kins makes him skweek in da middle ob da nite an makes Ma jump MOL MOL MOL NEENER NEENER! OH dat FUNNEE!!

Ebry kitty shuds hab a Woogie. An an an iffin my Woogie shud dance - he be doin da BOOGIE WOOGIE ROTFMOL MOL MOL MOL MOL MOL!!


Friday, October 14, 2011


Yep! I bees a profeshinil Cat Boogler! Yew may asks, wut duz I boogle???

My speshiltee bees Ma's denshurs. Las nite Ma pop her jaw an an an out come her lower denshurs, RITE on top ob me!! An an an I sez WOWIE!! Tankee furry mush, Ma! Now I kins plays wid yore teefs!!

Sew I smaks em round, liks em, chews dem gud, an makes shur I gits dat tartar (wudeber dat bees) offa my teefs! I smak it round da house. Den I stashes it under da kishen table under da step stool. Gud. Ma willno luks dar fur dem!

Sew Ma git up an  dinno reelize she bin missin her lower teefs. She S L O W dis mornin. She go round do her stuffs, talks tew Ant Brenda, an an an wudeber. Den she go tew makes brekfist.

She take a drink ob joos an gits a funnee luk on her face (snicker snicker snicker!). She rub her jaw an an an reelize she missin her denshur...........MOL MOL MOL MOL at dis point I rollin wid laffter!

Sew she luk in da coush, ware she sleep all nite an dinno finds enetin. She luk in da bafroom.......nuttin. I seen her empty da litter box - HEY dat a grate idee fur neks time - an she luk more confoos.

She luk in da bedroom on da bed, under da desk, under da pillow...........she luk in da kishen. All ob a sudden, she luk under da kishen table, an dar, under da step stool........


NEENER NEENER, MA!! I BOOGLED YORE DENSHURS!! Dey tastes gud, Ma, and dey haaaalps me git rid ob tartar on my teefs. Tankee sew mush fur lettin me takes kar ob my teefs - WID YORE TEEFS!! MOL MOL ROTFMOL MOL MOL


Thursday, October 6, 2011

MKK (Mousie Kiltin Klub)

Hey Kitties!! Wuzzup??? Wutcha bin doin tewda?

It a purrtee fall day heer, but HOT. 85 bees hot fur fall.

I gots tew talks bout sumtin impotant. Mousies, an how tew kilts dem. Sew lissen up!

Dar bees lots ob ways tew kilt a mousie, an an an lots ob reezins tew kilt dem. ANY mousie commitin ANY offens bees deserbin ob bein KILT!! Da degree ob kilt depend on da degree ob offens.

Fur zample......iffin a mousie bees sittin on da floor an NO lukin at yew, it deserb tew bees kilt. It need a BIG smakie on da hed dat make it fly akross da room an hit da wall. Dat wills teech it tew luks at yew! Lak ob respekt no tolerated heer!

Iffin a mousie bees sittin on da floor LUKIN at yew, it deserb tew bees kilt! It need 2 BIG smakies on da hed an a flik from its tale. Dat wills teech it NO tew luks at yew! Lak ob respekt no tolerated heer!!

Ifin a mousie bees sittin on da floor, LUKIN at yew wid its tale curve an whiskers outa wak...........it in DEEP TRUBBLES!! REBELLION NO TOLERATED HEER!! At dis point, yew needs tew croush down, put yore eeeeers bak on yore hed, get a MEEEEN grimis on yore face, fluffs up yore tale an an an on da count ob 3 -  RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR! Yew POUNES on dat dum mousie, bites it in da hed, kiks it wid yore bak feet, SNARLS at it like a CHEETER an toss it away frum yew an an an repeets da process! Den it bees Half Kilt.

If it STILL bees lukin at yew affer all dat, it time tew kilt it ded. Hab NO mercy. GRAB dat mousie by its tale an YANK da tale off it an spits it out ob yore mouf. Tare intew dat mousie an an an pulls all da stuffin out ob it. Dat complete da job, an dat mousie wills neber boder yew agin! Nope!

Sew dat how tew takes care ob kiltin yore mousies.

I agunna starts a Mousie Kiltin Klub. My furst offishil member bees Mazie. She furry gud at kiltin mousies! Conatulashuns, Mazie!

Hoo else wanna bees a MKK member - it beder den da Mickey Mouse Club ROTFMOL MOL MOL!!!


Sunday, October 2, 2011

I bees a furry gud Noos!

I bees a furry gud Noos fur Ma. I bees a *Registered Kitty Nurse*. Yep.

Ma bin habin a ruff go ob it lately an she bin furry unkomffy. Sew I gits intew my Noosin mode. Dat a lot ob werks, but it werth it!

I stays close tew Ma. Wen she in bed an gits up an down, I makes shur dat wen she come bak intew bed, I gits reel close tew her, tuch her face wid my paw, an purrrrrrrrrs! Den I cuddles wid her.

Wen she on da coush, I climbs intew her lap, den ontew her ches an I lays dar, snuggles down, gibs her kissies an an an bonks, an PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRs reel loud! I puts my arms round her nek an an an sleeps wid her. An an an ebry once in a wile I cheks tew makes shur she bees asleeps an I gibs her a tiny kissy :)

An an an iffin her eyes gits wet, I liks dem dry. I dunno likes Ma's eyes tew bees wets.

It werth all dis werk acuz den Ma cuddle an cuddle me an an an speak sweet werds tew me like I bees sush a gud gurl an an an I bees her cuddlebug an stuffs........an an an I reeeeely likes dat!

Ma feelin mush beder now an an an I no dat Creator's Son haaaalps her an an an anser her purrayer. I haaaalps her, tew!

Mush Lubs,