Friday, March 23, 2012

A STRESSFUL an an an NERBIS day :(

Ant Peggy come tewday. She an Ma hab tew change tings in da bedroom acuz ob da *emergency alert cord*. It bin ahind a cabinet an dat a no no. Dat in case Ma fall an need haaaalps. She kins yanks on dat cord an an an help come.

BUT..................My bed get MOOB!! DUNNO MOOBS MY BED!!! Da bedroom a MESS! I DUNNO LIKES DAT!! I wants my bed bak NOW!!! Dey moob dis an dat an dat an dis an WUT a MESS MY bedroom bin :( Dey moob  my STEPS intew da libin room, so I gits on top ob it an an an YOWLS at da top ob my lungs. I voices my DISPLEASHUR!!!

Den, Meen Ant Peggy git out da MEEN LOUD DIRT EETIN MASHINE :(  I dunno likes dat eeder. It HOOOOOT MY EEERS! Sew I runs tew Ma an gits on her lap.

Den.....Ant Peggy found my STASH!!! *RATS!*  Dat ware I keeps all ob my toys an an an treshurs dat I finds in da hous...... She FOUND my shiny rok on a pin :( I LUBS dat rok on a pin (cz earring). Meen Ant Peggy!

FINALLY da bedroom finish. My steps no in da same place. My BED no in da same place. I no shur I likes dis furry mush. Ma sed *oh well, it complies with the rules* sew I dunno tinks she tew happee eeder.

A little later on, I heers noise dat I dunno likes an an an I gits nerbis.  Ant Peggy neber seen me like dis. Ma tell her dat a severe storm comin. It start tew thunder. A few minits later ROKS falls out ob da SKY!! HAAAAAAAAAAAALPS!! An an an I climbs on top of Ma's hed.........I sew askairt! Ma take me off her hed an an an I gits my hed under her stinkee arm pit (I like stinkee!). Them roks fall out ob da sky an an an makes sew mush noise hittin da hous an an an window an an an I ASKAIRT!!! Ma hold me tite. Ant Peggy sed it *pee size hale* - wudeber dat meen. I dunno cares - it ASKAIRTS ME!!!

Finally it ober. I eggzawsted. My tale down. I no sew happee. Ma feed me. I takes 2 bites an an an goes intew da bedroom. Ma lift up da cubbers ob da bed fur me an an an I finds my spot an an an goes tew sleeps. I hopes tewmorro bees a beder day :(


Tuesday, March 20, 2012


Yew all nos bout da *Terminator*, rite?? Well, I bees *DA INTIMMYDATOR*!!! I bet yew dinno dat I has a BLAK BELT in INTIMMYDASHUN!!!!

I bin mindin my own bizniss dis mornin, layin in my fishy bed enjoyin da sunshine wen all of a sudden, dis yeller boycat come trottin along.

'rrrrrrrrrrr' I sez. 'rrrRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrr' Dat dum boycat come closer. 'rrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOO' An an I arches my bak, fluffs up to level 4 fluffometer, puts my eeeers bak, makes my eyes intew slits an an an

He take one more step an an an I HISSSS SPPPPIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT an an an I starts throwin myself aginst da skreen door. 'rrrrrrrrrrr spit spit spit an an an I gits redy tew attaks DDBC (dat dum boycat) an Ma come runnin tew sees wut agoin on an an *MARGO!!*

Woosh zooooooooooooooom DDBC go runnin wid its tale between its legs an an an I keeps on spittin an an an growlin!!! Ma pik me up DUNNO PIKS ME UP MA I MAD!! 'RRRRRRRRRRRRRR" Meen Ma close da door. But I still MAD. I pace bak an fort bak an for bak an fort yowlin an an an spittin fur a gud ten minits. Den I lays in my bed and wach intently - all ober da back patteeo an an an MY property!

How DARE DD(yeller)BC come an an an steps on MY PATTEEOO!! IT MINE! NO YORS! Yew agunna GITS it yew dum yeller boycat! Gud ting Ma stop me acuz I was agunna yanks yore tale off an an an beets yew up gud! Yew BEDDER NO EBER COMES BAK yew dum yeller boycat - an iffin yew duz comes bak, I no responsble fur wut happen tew yew..........dumm yeller boycat!

Sew I finally calms down. Ant Peggy come tew dew shoppin fur Ma. Ant Peggy see dat dum Jerk Russel Terror name Heidi comin dis way. DDJRT bin on a leesh. DDJRT bees fat as a hog (dat fatter den a pig, yew no). She got dis stub fur a tale. Well, Heidi DDJRT see me. An I seen her...................

She come runnin up tew da skreen door an in a instant, I turns intew DA INTIMMYDATOR!! Eeeeers bak, body fluffometer level 5, eyes intew tiny slits, arch bak an an an

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrOOOOOOOOOOOOrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooo! SLAM SLAM SLAM. DDJRT - she dunno has much ob a tale tew yanks, but she sew fat she canno runs fast, sew I wud grab ontew her eeers an BITES her.
Ant Peggy sez No, Margo! Heidi will not hurt you! an an an she pik me up.........dat her big mistake.......RRRRRRRRRRRRRR
OOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRoooooooo an an an I hiss an spppiiitt at Ant Peggy! She let me down kwik.... an Ma come runnin agin but she dinno piks me up. Ma smart. I bin about redy tew BITES!!! I SEW UPSET!!! Ma close da blinds tew da bak patteeo sew I kudno sees I went AHIND da blinds an an an I pace an pace an pace bak an fort an bak an fort.......

Ant Peggy shok. Furry shok. She never seen me like dis. She git down on da floor an an an call me. I still agitated. But I goes ober tew her an an an I tells her dat NODOGGY, NOKITTY welcome on MY bak patteeo! Dey bees riskin dar life by steppin on my propertee.

JUS STAYS OFF MY PATTEEO DDJRT, DDBC, an an an eny udder dog or cat!!

Sheesh. Bein *DA INTIMMYDATOR* hard werk. It make me furry hungree.  Sew Ma feed me an an an I calms down. Sheesh. Two intimmydashuns in one day. I tinks I lose a pound acuz I use sew mush energee. Can I has some more foods, Ma?


Friday, March 16, 2012

NOOOOOOOO, MA! Dunno do dat.........

Tewda bin warm. Almos hot. Ma turn on da seelin fans an open da bak an front door. Nice breeze go tru da hous. AN my bed bin in da sunshine! Sew I took a loooooooooong sunbath nap! It felt GUD!

Den Ant Peggy come to kleens da house. Ma an Ant Peggy talk about DDB. All ob a sudden, Ma take his kaj, an an an put him OUTSIDE on  one ob da planters on da patteeeooo!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MA!! Yew KRAZY????? WHY yew takes DDB outside??? I dinno gibs yer permishin tew dew dat!! BRINGS HIM BAK INSIDE, MA!! MA!!! MAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Ma agnore me. I sew nerbis!!! I asks iffin I kins go outside, tew an an an Meen Ma sed NO!! MEEN ROTTEN MA!! She let DDB bees outside and I canno goes outside! *RATS!*  Sew I sits by da door an wach DDB. Nobuddy beder come NEARS DDB!! HE MINE!!! I agunna tares enebuddy tew peeces iffin dey tries tew goes near MY DDB!!!

I wach an an an I wach DDB. Yew no wut???? DDB bees HAPPEE tew bees outside! He singin an singin an enjoyin da fresh air. I new he a dum bird..........but dis??? It no safe outside! Sew I starts talkin tew him an he agnore me!

Den Ma tell me dat DDB bees ok an an an I dunno needs tew worree! Sew I lays down in my parot fishy bed an keeps my eyes on DDB. I still nerbis.

Ma an Ant Peggy talkin an laffin. I dunno unnerstans dis lettin DDB outside ting.

Evenshully Ma bring DDB bak inside. I sew releeb!!! I guess he furry tired acuz he dinno sings no more MOL MOL!

Wut a nerb rakin day.


Sunday, March 11, 2012

HOO HOO HOO -wut dat???


Wut dat Ma???? I ASKAIRT ob dat nois..............close dat frunt door, Ma!


LEAP!! (intew Ma's arms) MA!!!! WUT DAT NOIS????? It agunna eeets me! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALPS!!

Den Ma put me down an go OUTSIDE!! NOOOOOOOO!! MA!!! Dunno goes outside!!! It agunna hooos yew tew deth!

Ma luk round an an an intew da trees kross da street. Den she comes in!

MA! yew still alibe!! WUT DAT NOIS???

A *BARN OWL*??? Wut dat??? A big birdie - duz it eets cats????? Oh - it eats MOUSIES!! I tink I likes dat hoo eeet small birds, tew????

LEAP LEAP LEAP tumble tumble crash..........BUT MA!!! I Trying tew SAVES DAT DUM BIRD FRUM DAT  hoo birdie..........DDB BEES MINE!! I no agunna lets no HOO BIRDIE eeets MY DDB!!!


YIKES!! HOOZILLA bees in da pare tree in our frunt yard....WOW - dat a BIG BIRD!! HOLDS ME, MA!! I ASKAIRT!! tremble tremble tremble shake shake shake


Bye bye Birdzilla Hoo an an NEENER NEENER yew didno gits Ma, me, or DDB!!!