I NO a GARDKAT!! I a NOOS!!!

I hab a bizee day, an an I goes tew bed an sleeps jus like a cat shud. I dinno sees nuttin. I dinno heers nuttin. I bin asleep. ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Ma come intew da bedroom in da middle ob da nite. She turn on da lite an an an I sez Murrrrrrrrrrr! An MEEN MA sez

*Where were you when I needed you, Margo!!!*

Murrrrrrrrrr I sez.

Den Ma call Ant Brenda. OH!! ANT BRENDA!! Kins I sez Hi tew Ant Brenda, Ma??? An I notice Ma bin shakin an her voice no stedy.............

MEYOW Ant Brenda!! I LUBS YEW ANT BRENDA purrrrrrrrrrrr purrrrrrrrrrr -

*Margo, where were you when your Ma needed you? You weren't doing your job!!*

Wut job, Ant Brenda?? I bin sleepin. Dat my job!

And den I heer Ma tellin Ant Brenda dat sumbuddy open da skreen door an nok on da front door at 2am an an an Ma got askairt an call *911*. She bin sleepin on da coush wen she herd dat noize. An an an da poleec come, an one come in da hows an talk tew her. Like I sez. I bin asleep. I dinno heer nuttin. I dinno see nuttin. I dinno eben no dat a poleec officer come in da hows. News tew me. Sew I sez tew Ma

Sew did he arrest yew? Yew no - like *Bukkum, Dummo!*

*Margo!! No he did NOT arrest me. What kind of a guard cat are you , anyway?!*

I NO A GUARD CAT, MA!! Yew needs a GUARD D O G! I No A GARD CAT, silly!! I bees a NOOS CAT!! Duno gits no gard dog or I bees furry jelis......

An an an HEY!! Wut bot ob yew doin up an talkin at 3am????? Yew BOT needs tew STOPS TALKIN NOW an an an GITS YORESELFS INTEW BED!! DAT BEES A ORDER!!!

I stares at Ma meen as I kud. She an Ant Brenda pray, den ma sez *ok, time for bed*. Sew now I wills do my job, Ma! I wills kumfurt yew. Settles down an I wills cuddle up tew yew an an an purrs yew tew sleeps. I lubs yew Ma - an I glad yew no bin arrested!

Lubs,
Margo

I Kyoot!!!

Poor Ma bin sik yesserda wid sum virus. She stay in bed, sew I stays in bed wid her. She bin sew sik dat she FURGIT tew gibs me my late nite snak!!! I TRY tew tells her I bin hungree............but she jus agnor me.

Sew dis mornin, I TOL HER FURRY LOUDLEE dat I BEES HUNGREE, MA!! FEEDS ME!!!

Sew she gib me extra porshun ob my fabrit - tookey patay. NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM - OH dat delishis! Tankee furry mush, Ma.........now wut trubbles kins I gits intew.......

Ant Peggy come tew kleens da house. She sez *Hi Margo!* an an an I goes ZOOOOM intew da bedroom, an yowls at da top ob my lungs. Ant Peggy an Ma laffin.......

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!! I comes bak in da libin room an YOWLS eben louder. Ant Peggy tink dat eben funnier!!! ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM I goes bak intew da bedroom on top ob da bed.

Sew Ant Peggy come in dar, an she tink I wants under da cubbers acuz I ate my brekfist. Sew she lift up da cubbers, an I dash under dar, an DASH OUT DA UDDER END!!! NEENER NEENER!! (Ant Peggy neber seen me like dis afor......) She laffin sew hard!

Ma tell her tew git my snake dancer toy - a kroshay snake on a wire dat I LUBS! (I hab neber play wid Ant Peggy afore - I shy .......)

Sew Ant Peggy git dat snake, an I gits a reeeeel meen luk on my face (Ant Peggy laffin sew hard I tink she agunna falls down on her derry air!). She slink dat snake around an an an I CACH IT an I BEETS it up, an she yank it away frum me.........sew I starts slinkin....an an an dat snake start goin down da hallway.........DUM SNAKE!! I AGUNNA GITS YEW!!!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR POUNCE CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP kik kik kik kik RRAAAAA - war did it goes??? IT RUNNIN AWAYS FRUM ME!! IT ASKAIRT OB ME!! I MEEN!

An I runs an bats it an pounces on it an beets it up an den ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM bak intew da bedroom an yowl at da top ob my lungs on top ob da bed...........Ant Peggy come in agin - I canno beleeb I dun dis TWICE TEW HER MOL ROTFMOL- lift up da cubbers, I zooms in one end an OUT DA UDDER END AGIN!! (Ant Peggy hab wet eyes now she laffin sew hard).

Den ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM intew da litter box.......skyooz me......

Wen I comes out, Ant Peggy pik me up an cuddle me an an an tell me *Margo, you are SO CUTE!*

An I tells her, well, ob KORSE I KYOOT! I MARGO!!

Lubs,
Margo

Stinkeeeeeee

Hiya, Ma - sniff sniff sneeze sneeze sneeze sneeze sneeze GAG sneeze sneeze PHEW, MA!! Wut yew warin???? It STINKEEE, but no gud stinkee..........BAD STINKEEEEEE! PHEW!!

*I'm wearing Avon's Imari*

Yew no marry, Ma! Why yew warin dat - yew lyin, Ma - yew no marry........ GAG sneeze sneeze sneeze sneeze!

Why yew warin dat? Get it offs yew! I dunno like dat smell! I likes YORE smell speshilly wen yew bees STINKEE nashural!!! Sheesh, Ma!

*I like the way it smells, Margo, and when I wear it I feel pampered!*

Yew no needs no diaper, Ma. Go an an an takes a shower!!

An guess wut else..........it NO FARE dat YEW wares a purrfoooom but I dunno. I WANTS SUM PURRFOOM NOW, MA!!! I wants tew bees like yew!!!

*And what kind of perfume would you like........(I may regret asking this.........) Margo.

Owe du Stunk, Ma!! Dat it!! Owe du Stunk!!! Furry STINKEEE! It wills make yore eyes wet acuz it smell sew gud!!Yew kins gits it on eBay, Ma!!! Yew gots PayPal!!

*Margo I will NOT get you eau de skunk!! That is GROSS!!!*

MEEN MA!! It NO FARE dat yew kins wares ikee purrrfoooom but I canno wares STINKEE owe du stunk purrrrfooooom!

*Come here, Margo. I am more than willing to share my Imari with you -*

YIKES!! RUN FUR YORE LIFE!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!! KWIK - I wills hide under da bed!! NEENER NEENER, MEEN MA!! Yew canno sprays me!!

AN DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!!!

Lubs,
Margo

My Tale an an an Udder Vital Statiktiks

WUT TIKS, Ma -  I DUNNO GOTS  NO TIKS!!!!

I lubs my tale. Yep! It purrrfik. It got lots ob colors like blak, orinj, an an an wite! I gots a wite tip on my tale like I dunk it in paint!!! An an an I gots 2 kinks in my tale wich make it eben MORE purrrrfik!! Two ob dem tale bones bins broke an dinno heels rite, so my tale bees kinks. WOWIE wut a tale I gots! BUT DUNO TUCH IT or I wills SMAKS yore hand HARD! IT MY TALE an an an yew CANNO TUCH IT!!!

Hey Ma!! How long bees my BEEYOOTIFUL tale??

*Let me measure it, Margo.*

DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!!!!! rrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! I bees warnin yew, Ma……..DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!!!

*How do you expect me to measure it then -*

Yew no, Ma – like dey meshur hoosies! One hand eekwil 4 cinches!! BUT DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!!! Meshur it dat way……..BUT DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!!!!!

*Ma gets the tape measure ready*

*MARGO! Stay still or I won’t be able to measure your beautiful, I mean BEEYOOTEEFUL tail!*

DUNNO –

*I will NOT touch your tail, Margo!*

I redy tew BITES yew…………..

*Ma attempts to measure ‘The Tail’…..RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  CHOMP *YOUCH MARGO LET GO!!* RRRRRRRRRRRRR *TAKE YOUR TEETH OFF OF MY WRIST!!!!* smack smack smack Ma’s rist!!! ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! M E E N  MA!!!!!!

Sew Ma, how long bees my tale????

*11 inches, Mean Margo!!*

I NO MEEN!!! DUNNO CALLS ME MEEN!! YEW HOOT MY FEELINS…..snif snif snif snif

*Did I hurt you when I touched your tail?*

Snif snif snif……….no…………..snif snif snif But I WARN yew!!! Yew deserb a bite!

Hey MA!! How long bees my bak? I pawromis I willno smak or bite yew…..

*Stay Still Margo!!!* I’ll do your entire body, ok, but you Can Not Bite Me!!!*

Pffft! *MARGO!* Bees kwik, Ma!! Hurries up! *STAY STILL, MARGO*

I dunno wants tew NEENER NEENER!!! *sigh……….*

After a wrestling battle, some smacks from Margo, a firm NO from Ma, the dastardly deed was completed. Both parties have messed up hair and fur has flown all over the bed.

*CALL A TRUCE, Margo!!!* pffffffffft!  *M A R G O ! ! !  ok ME - I meens Ma. Trooooos.

*For all of you that are interested, here are Margo’s Vital Statistics:*

Species – feline (cat)

Color – tortoiseshell and white
Sex – MAAAAAAAAA!!! DUNNO SEZ DAT WERD!! YEW EMBARSS ME!!

            *Margo, are you a boy or a girl?*  I BEES A GURL, MA!!!!

            *Then that is your sex, Margo*  pout pout sheeesh!

Eyes – green

Height – 9”

Weight – 7.8 pounds  I SVELTE, Ma!!
Length of tail – 11”

Length of back – 12”

Neck – 10”

From tip of nose to tip of tail (DUNNO TUCH MY TALE, MA!) – 32”

Tankee furry mush, Ma!

Lubs,

BEEYOOTEEFUL Margo hoo bees furry purroud ob her BEEYOOTEEFUL TALE!!

DUNNO TUCH MY TALE!!!!

Introduction

Hello dar, Furrends! It me, MARGO, R.K.N. !! Ma an I decide tew make a *BLOG* - wudeber dat bees for ME!! Sew I kins rite an an an all my furrends kins reed it! Al also so we dunno gits in trubbles fur sendin tew mene emails..........

I bees a BEEYOOTEFUL 3 legged kitty wid a BEEYOOOTEEFUL tale, a lot ob Spunk - wudeber dat bees - an a wunnerful life! I bees 7 yeers old. Heer bees sum ob my fabrit tings:

My POOPL Okypus dat I beets up ebry day
My Wunnerful, sweet, an FURRY HANSUM Husband, Mikey
Canteloupe an Watermelon
Skrambl egg
liddl mousies da smaller da beder
TOOKEY
Shiken
Cat Dancer Snake Toy
Ma
PIZZA - yep jus like Garfield

Ma wills haaalps me werk on dis BLOG ting. We hopes yew enjoys gettin tew no me.

Lubs,
Margo