I NO a GARDKAT!! I a NOOS!!!

I hab a bizee day, an an I goes tew bed an sleeps jus like a cat shud. I dinno sees nuttin. I dinno heers nuttin. I bin asleep. ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Ma come intew da bedroom in da middle ob da nite. She turn on da lite an an an I sez Murrrrrrrrrrr! An MEEN MA sez

*Where were you when I needed you, Margo!!!*

Murrrrrrrrrr I sez.

Den Ma call Ant Brenda. OH!! ANT BRENDA!! Kins I sez Hi tew Ant Brenda, Ma??? An I notice Ma bin shakin an her voice no stedy.............

MEYOW Ant Brenda!! I LUBS YEW ANT BRENDA purrrrrrrrrrrr purrrrrrrrrrr -

*Margo, where were you when your Ma needed you? You weren't doing your job!!*

Wut job, Ant Brenda?? I bin sleepin. Dat my job!

And den I heer Ma tellin Ant Brenda dat sumbuddy open da skreen door an nok on da front door at 2am an an an Ma got askairt an call *911*. She bin sleepin on da coush wen she herd dat noize. An an an da poleec come, an one come in da hows an talk tew her. Like I sez. I bin asleep. I dinno heer nuttin. I dinno see nuttin. I dinno eben no dat a poleec officer come in da hows. News tew me. Sew I sez tew Ma

Sew did he arrest yew? Yew no - like *Bukkum, Dummo!*

*Margo!! No he did NOT arrest me. What kind of a guard cat are you , anyway?!*

I NO A GUARD CAT, MA!! Yew needs a GUARD D O G! I No A GARD CAT, silly!! I bees a NOOS CAT!! Duno gits no gard dog or I bees furry jelis......

An an an HEY!! Wut bot ob yew doin up an talkin at 3am????? Yew BOT needs tew STOPS TALKIN NOW an an an GITS YORESELFS INTEW BED!! DAT BEES A ORDER!!!

I stares at Ma meen as I kud. She an Ant Brenda pray, den ma sez *ok, time for bed*. Sew now I wills do my job, Ma! I wills kumfurt yew. Settles down an I wills cuddle up tew yew an an an purrs yew tew sleeps. I lubs yew Ma - an I glad yew no bin arrested!

Lubs,
Margo